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Band 5+: The pie and bar charts below show the percentage of water consumption and use in Australia in 2004.

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Image for topic: The pie and bar charts below show the percentage of water consumption and use in Australia in 2004.

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The image presents two charts for Australia in 2004: a pie chart showing water consumption with Residential (houses) at 57%, Residential (apartments) at 13%, Business at 10%, Government at 6%, Industry at 11%, and Other at 3%, and a bar chart illustrating residential water usage with Bathroom at 27%, Toilet at 20%, Washing Clothes at 15%, Kitchen at 10%, and Garden at 30%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrates how the amount of water was spent in six different sectors, while the bar chart depicts the reason why the residents (in both houses and apartments) used it in Australia in 2004.

Overall, residential houses made the highest percentage of water consumption, with the primary purposes of the residential water usage presented on bathroom and garden.

As an be seen from the chart, around more than half on the proportion of water consumption went to the residential houses, followed by that of the residential apartments accounted for about 13%. Futhermore, the amount of water was consumed on industry and business comprising by nearly one in ten. Besides, the rate of water usage revealed other and government, which was 3% and 6%,respetively (double the former figure).

When it comes to the purposes of the household water usage, bathroom and garden took up just more 25% on the proportion of the residential water usage. Moreover, the percentage of household water usage for washing lothes (20%) was twice as high as that for kitchen (10%), followed by the figure for toilet accounted for nearly 15%.

Word Count: 186

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 9

residential: 5

usage: 5

chart: 3

houses: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task and provides a clear overview of the main trends. The comparison between sectors in the pie chart and the breakdown of residential usage in the bar chart is logical. To improve, ensure more precise data grouping and accuracy in reporting specific figures; for instance, there were some minor discrepancies between the reported percentages and the data provided in the description (e.g., the toilet and washing clothes figures). Additionally, refining grammatical accuracy and word choice would enhance the overall professional tone of the report.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the progression is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical cohesive devices. Some transitions feel forced, and the connection between ideas within sentences is sometimes unclear due to grammatical errors. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices more naturally and ensuring that each sentence flows logically into the next without relying on repetitive sentence structures.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the basic information, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'Futhermore', 'respetively', 'lothes') and imprecise word choices (e.g., 'the amount of water was spent', 'comprising by'). There is an attempt to use comparative language, which is good, but the execution is often inaccurate. Aim to expand your range of academic synonyms for 'show' or 'use' and ensure that word collocations (words that naturally go together) are used correctly.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. There are issues with preposition usage (e.g., 'on the proportion', 'consumed on industry'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction (e.g., 'As an be seen from the chart'). The report attempts complex structures, such as relative clauses and comparisons, but these often contain errors. To improve, practice building complex sentences with greater control over syntax and pay close attention to the correct use of prepositions and articles.

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