Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie charts below show male and female employment data for the UK, in 1998 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie charts below show male and female employment data for the UK, in 1998 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays UK employment data for 1988 and 2012. In 1988, from a total of 23,839 (in 1000s), full-time men were 52.6% (12,539k), full-time women were 18.8% (4,482k), part-time men were 6.5% (1,550k), and part-time women were 22.1% (5,268k). In 2012, with a total of 29,600 (in 1000s), full-time men were 46.6% (13,794k), full-time women were 26% (7,696k), part-time men were 7.2% (2,131k), and part-time women were 20.2% (5,979k).

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These pie charts depict the female and male employment in UK between the years 1988 and 2012.

The full-time male employment has the most shares while part-time male employment has the least shares in both charts. Increase in full-time women employment had an upstanding effect in the year 2012 , decreasing the percentage of full-time male employment.

Over the years , numbers in 1000’s has increased gradually. In addition to that the numbers in full-time women employment significantly rose than other groups . In 1988 full-time male employment was covering more than half of the pie chart .Since an increase at full-time women employment occured , the full-time male employment had a decrease in percentages from 52.6% to 46.6%. On the other hand , part-time women employment had a slight decrease in percentages from 22.1% to 20.2%. In the course of time , part-time male employment climbed both in numbers(from 1550 to 2131) and percentages( from 6.5% to 7.2%)

Word Count: 159

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

employment: 10

full-time: 7

women: 4

part-time: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the main features of the data, highlighting the dominance of full-time male employment, the increase in full-time female employment, and the corresponding decrease in full-time male percentages. It also mentions the slight decline in part-time female employment and the increase in part-time male employment. However, there are some omissions and lapses: the report does not explicitly mention the overall increase in total employment numbers, and it could have provided a clearer comparison of all categories. Additionally, there are minor grammatical and punctuation errors (e.g., 'upstanding effect', missing spaces after commas). To improve, ensure all key trends are covered and proofread for language accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and punctuation errors. The introduction and overview are present, but the body paragraphs could be more clearly organized. Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly', 'overall') to improve the connection between ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that sentences are properly linked.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited, with some imprecise word choices (e.g., 'upstanding effect', 'covering more than half'). There is some attempt at paraphrasing, but more variety and precision are needed. Use a wider range of synonyms and more formal, academic language (e.g., 'accounted for', 'experienced a rise', 'constituted'). Avoid informal or vague expressions. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, subject-verb agreement ('numbers... has increased'), incorrect word forms ('occured' should be 'occurred'), and missing spaces after punctuation. The range of sentence structures is limited. To improve, practice using a variety of complex sentences, ensure subject-verb agreement, and proofread for punctuation and spelling errors.

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