Pie Chart

Band 7+: the pie chat below shows online sales for retail sector in newzealand in 2003 and 2013.

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The image contains two pie charts comparing four retail sectors in New Zealand online sales between 2003 and 2013: in 2003, Travel is at 36%, Film/Music 21%, Books 19%, Clothes 24%; in 2013, Travel is 29%, Film/Music 33%, Books 22%, Clothes 16%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts illustrate the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Overall, there were four types of retail sectors, including travel, film or music, books, and clothes. The online sales of travel occupied the largest part in 2003 while the percentage of film or music had showed a significant increase and it was the biggest part in 2013.

To begin with, the greatest online sales of retail sectors in 2003 was travel, which occupied 36%. Then, the second and third highest proportion was the clothes and film or music sectors, which were 24% and 21% respectively. The online sales of books was the lowest percentage, which only occupied 19% in the same year.

In 2013, the proportion of film or music, and books had seen an remarkable growth while the travel and clothes had showed an opposite trend. The percentage of film or music increased significantly, which rose to 33% in 2013. At the same time, the online sales of books also grew up to 22%. However, the online sales of travel and clothes dropped to 29% and 16% respectively in 2013.

Word Count: 188

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

online: 6

sales: 6

travel: 5

music: 5

sectors: 4

books: 4

clothes: 4

which: 4

retail: 3

occupied: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by describing the main trends and comparing the two years. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, an overview, and detailed paragraphs. The key features are identified, and the data is generally accurate. To improve, consider using more precise language for describing changes (e.g., 'rose' instead of 'grew up') and ensure consistent use of articles (e.g., 'a remarkable growth'). The report could also benefit from a more varied range of vocabulary and sentence structures.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-structured with a clear overall statement and logical paragraphing. The message flows smoothly, and the use of cohesive devices like 'overall', 'to begin with', and 'however' is effective. Minor improvements could include more varied linking phrases to enhance flow further.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is appropriate and generally accurate, with good use of terms like 'occupied', 'significant increase', and 'opposite trend'. However, there is some repetition (e.g., 'online sales' used multiple times) and a few awkward phrases (e.g., 'had showed a significant increase' could be 'showed a significant increase'). Using a wider range of synonyms and more sophisticated expressions would improve the lexical score. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex sentences. However, there are minor grammatical errors and phrasing issues, such as 'had showed' (should be 'showed' or 'had shown'), 'an remarkable growth' (should be 'a remarkable growth'), and 'grew up to' (should be 'grew to'). These errors are infrequent and do not impede understanding, but correcting them would enhance accuracy.

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