Bar Chart

Band 4+: The provided chart illustrates the number of people employee in five types such as: sales, accounting, computing, nursing, and farming of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008.

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Image for topic: The provided chart illustrates the number of people employee in five types such as: sales, accounting, computing, nursing, and farming of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008.

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The image presents a bar graph comparing employment numbers in five work types in one Australian region for 2001 and 2008. For Sales: 2001 had 180,000, and 2008 had 185,000. For Accounting: 2001 had 70,000, and 2008 had 75,000. For Computing: 2001 had 45,000, and 2008 had 50,000. For Nursing: 2001 had 80,000, and 2008 had 95,000. For Farming: 2001 had 10,000, and 2008 had 15,000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph illustrates how much number of people employed in five types of work such as sales, accounting, computing, nursing and farming, in one region in the country as Australia between 2001 and 2008.

Overall, in both periods of time, sales had the major prevent of people, while the farming was opposite. Moreover, nursing was stability and do not changed so much.

In 2001, the most popular types of work was Sales and it’s number was between 158.00 and 160.000. Despite of all of the types of work do not simmilar, because according, computing and nursing’s ability was stability between 58.000-62.000’s number. At least farming is the most useful, but not perspective job. His worker’s number was less than 40.000.

But in the 2008, all of the workers prioritises a little bit changed. Sales stay at that level but also increased a bit. At the moment, farming also stay the minority of jobs. Computing totally increased, while accounting and nursing do not decreased but also do not increased productivity.

Word Count: 169

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

number: 4

sales: 4

farming: 4

types: 3

computing: 3

nursing: 3

between: 3

increased: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the main features of the graph, but it contains inaccuracies and lacks specific data. The organization is present but could be improved with a clearer structure. The language used is not always accurate, and there are issues with grammar and vocabulary. To improve, focus on providing accurate data, organizing the information more logically, and using more precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report suffers from significant issues in coherence and cohesion. The organization of ideas is unclear, and the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are abrupt. The overall message is difficult to follow due to these lapses. Paragraphing needs improvement to better structure the information. For example, the second paragraph attempts to provide an overview, but the points are not clearly connected. The third and fourth paragraphs mix details from both years without clear transitions, making it hard to distinguish trends.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary. There is frequent use of basic words and phrases, and a lack of precision in word choice. For instance, using 'major prevent' instead of 'highest proportion' or 'most' is inaccurate. Similarly, describing nursing as 'stability' is vague. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to trends, comparisons, and proportions. Use a thesaurus to find more precise and varied words. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors that impede understanding. Errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure are prevalent. For example, 'how much number of people employed' is grammatically incorrect, and 'nursing was stability' is an incorrect sentence construction. The report also contains punctuation errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofread carefully for errors in tense, agreement, and word order. Consider using online grammar checkers and seeking feedback from native English speakers.

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