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Band 5+: The shown Line graph below illustrates the condition of participation by club members to different courses. Summaries and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The shown Line graph below illustrates the condition of participation by club members to different courses. Summaries and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays a line graph titled 'PARTICIPATION BY CLUB MEMBERS', with a y-axis for '% OF CLUB MEMBERS' from 0% to 60% and an x-axis for the YEAR from 1995 to 2015. For swimming, participation was: 1995 (50%), 2000 (approximately 42%), 2005 (approximately 32%), 2010 (15%), and 2015 (15%). For team sports, participation was: 1995 (approximately 32%), 2000 (approximately 32%), 2005 (approximately 32%), 2010 (40%), and 2015 (approximately 32%). For gym activities, participation was: 1995 (5%), 2000 (approximately 8%), 2005 (approximately 18%), 2010 (approximately 26%), and 2015 (25%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given line graph illustrates the number of individuals who take part by three sport clubs between in 1995 to 2015.

Looking from overall perspective, it is readily apparent that swimming had by far the highest persentage of all the tree clubs but after it was the lowest figure. While gym activities had significant growth.

Looking into the data in more ditail, the holding rate of swimming was the highest than other club members at 50% in 1995.However it was decrease considerably to approximately 20% in 2010. Then swimming was stayed the same to 2015. On the other side, participants of team sports started at 30% in 1995 and be stabled 1 year, then decade later it continuously increased to 40% in 2010. Moreover, team sport started moderatly dropped to 30% at the end of period.

Lastly, the gym activities had great rose, from near 10% in 1995 to around 30% in 2010. In addition, it was also stayed constand last one year as for as, swimming club.

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

swimming: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main trends and making comparisons between the three types of club participation. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, an overview, and a detailed analysis. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data (e.g., swimming at 20% in 2010 instead of 15%, team sports starting at 30% instead of 32%) and minor omissions (e.g., the exact values for gym activities in 2000 and 2005). Additionally, there are spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'persentage', 'ditail', 'stabled', 'moderatly', 'constand') that slightly detract from clarity. To improve, ensure data accuracy and proofread for language errors. The report successfully highlights key trends, such as the decline in swimming and the rise in gym activities, which meets the task requirements.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report attempts to present an overview and detailed data, but the flow is disrupted by unclear referencing and awkward transitions. For example, 'Looking from overall perspective' and 'Looking into the data in more ditail' are not smoothly integrated. The paragraphing is present but could be more skillfully managed to separate the overview from the detailed analysis. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph has a single focus. Also, avoid abrupt shifts between ideas and use cohesive devices more naturally.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and contains several inaccuracies and inappropriate choices, such as 'persentage', 'tree clubs', 'holding rate', 'be stabled', 'moderatly', 'great rose', and 'constand'. There is some attempt at variation (e.g., 'significant growth', 'considerably'), but overall the range is narrow and lacks sophistication. To improve, expand your vocabulary for describing trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'plateaued') and ensure correct spelling and word forms. Use more precise and natural collocations. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. Examples include 'between in 1995 to 2015', 'it was decrease', 'swimming was stayed', 'be stabled', 'it was also stayed constand', and missing commas. Sentence structures are often repetitive or incomplete. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct verb tenses (especially past simple vs. past perfect), and proper use of articles and prepositions. Practice writing a variety of sentence types, such as complex and compound sentences, with accurate punctuation.

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Band 5+: The shown Line graph below illustrates the condition of participation by club members to different courses. Summaries and make comparisons where relevant.

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The shown Line graph below illustrates the condition of participation by club members to different courses. Summaries and make comparisons where relevant.

The shown Line graph below illustrates the condition of participation by club members to different courses. Summaries and make comparisons where relevant.

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