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Band 4+: the table and chart give information abut doctors in australia between 1986 and 2006.

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The image shows two graphs and a table providing data on the number of doctors in Australia from 1986 to 2006. The first graph shows the percentage of doctors by gender, with males at 60%, 50%, and 40% respectively, and females at 40%, 50%, and 60% respectively. The second graph shows the percentage of doctors by place of birth, with those born in Australia at 70%, 60%, and 70%, and those born overseas at 30%, 40%, and 30%, respectively. The table shows the total number of doctors: 23,720 in 1986, 29,060 in 1996, and 35,450 in 2006.

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The graph and table below present the information of doctors in Australia by years 1986 and 2006.

At first we see at the table number of doctors in years 1986;1996;2006. And we exactly see the increasing number,the increasing start from 1986,the number of doctors were 23,720. For 10 years we see increasing for 5340 doctors,there were 29,060 doctors in 1996.For another 10 years increasing were about 6390 doctor,in 2006 were 35,450 doctors.

In graphs below we see the percentage of gender and place of birth.

In 1986 75% oof doctors were males,only 25% were females,and at the same year, percentage of place of birth born in Australia were 62%,and only 38% were born in overseas. In 1996 percentage of males were 67% and percentage of females were 33%.Place of birth differs,58% of doctors have born in Australia,and only 42% have born in overseas. In 2006 we can see 61% of doctors are males,and 39% are females. In 2006 the percentage of place of birth was same,50% in Australia and 50% in overseas.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

doctors: 7

percentage: 5

years: 4

increasing: 4

australia: 3

place: 3

birth: 3

overseas: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are inaccuracies in the data reported from the graphs. The structure is present but could be improved with an overview. The data could be better organized and presented with more clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The introduction is minimal, and the body paragraphs jump between different data sets without clear transitions. The writing would benefit from a more structured approach, such as dedicating separate paragraphs to the table data and each graph, and using transition words to connect ideas. For example, you could start by summarizing the overall trend in the table, then move on to discussing the gender distribution and place of birth, highlighting key changes over the period.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of more sophisticated language to describe trends and comparisons. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to data analysis, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' 'increased significantly,' and 'proportionally.' Also, avoid repeating the same words and phrases; use synonyms to add variety to your writing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. These errors significantly impede the clarity of the writing. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence structure. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your work. Consider using a grammar checker to help identify areas for improvement, but always review the suggestions critically.

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