Pie Chart

Band 5+: The two pie charts show the percentages of pollutant entering a particular part of ocean in 1997 and 2007

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The image contains two pie charts depicting the percentage of pollutants in 1997 and 2007; in 1997: offshore oil 5, marine 22, domestic sewage 18, industrial waste 17, farm waste 4, litter 4, pollutants from air 30; in 2007: offshore oil 14, marine 17, domestic sewage 29, industrial waste 9, farm waste 2, litter 0, pollutants from air 29.

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The pie charts depict proportion of contaminators appearing in a specific ocean part in the period from 1997 to 2007.

A general observation reveals a significant increase in domestic sewage,offshore oil,and industrial waste pollutants in a given period.Marine and farm waste faced a slight drop,whilst litter contamination disappeared at all.

To start with the biggest pollutants in 1997,air pollution kept its percent at around one third for the next 10 years.Moreover,the percentage of domestic waste,that used to be third highest with 18%,aligned with the air’s contaminators percentage in 2007.By the time of 10 years industrial waste percentage notably dropped by 8%,however still keeping its fouth place in 2007.

The remaining categories experienced a non-crucial decrease under 5%,among these marine pollutants amounts fell down to 17%,while farm waste dropped insignificantly to 2% in decade time.By 2007 the litter contaminators basically disappeared dropping from 4% since 1997.

Word Count: 145

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

waste: 4

contaminators: 3

pollutants: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and makes relevant comparisons. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the report mentions an increase in industrial waste, which actually decreased. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately represented and consider including more specific data to support your observations. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow is somewhat disrupted by abrupt transitions and a lack of clear connections between ideas. Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively used to group related information and improve the overall structure. To enhance coherence, consider using more transitional phrases and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data. For example, group pollutants that increased together and those that decreased together to create a more logical flow.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise and natural. For example, 'contaminators' could be replaced with 'sources of pollution' or 'pollutants.' To improve lexical resource, focus on using synonyms and varied vocabulary to describe trends and changes, and ensure that the vocabulary used is appropriate for the context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, 'domestic waste,that used to be third highest with 18%,aligned with the air's contaminators percentage in 2007' is grammatically awkward and unclear. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, proofreading carefully for errors, and practicing sentence construction.

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