Bar Chart

Band 4+: This bar chart shows the percentage of Australian graduates in full-time employment four months after graduating ,between 1995 and 2001. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

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Image for topic: This bar chart shows the percentage of Australian graduates in full-time employment four months after graduating ,between 1995 and 2001. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

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The image depicts a bar graph showing employment levels from 1995 to 2001 for males and females. In 1995, males are at 72% and females at 55%. In 1997, males are at 70%, females at 57%. In 1998, males are at 71%, females at 59%. In 1999, males are at 71%, females at 60%. By 2000, males are at 72%, females at 64%. In 2001, both genders equal at 70%. There's a noted general trend of increasing employment levels and gender convergence by 2001. Male bars consistently higher until 2001 when they equal females.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph give information about the proportion of graduates who had a full- time jobs in four months in Australia after graduation from 1995 to 2001.

As can be seen from the graph, the percentage of both gender graduates who had full-time employment saw upward trends. Moreover, the percentage of males was higher than that of females, except in 2001

In 1995, the figure for males increased slowly from over 80% to 81%, then decreased and remained at starting point number in 1997. Similarly, the percentage of female graduates has the same trend with males, started at 78%, through 2 years more in 1997, it remained unchanged. there was an increase of roughly 2,5% from 81% to over 84% and peaked at the same number in the percentage of male graduates over the period. The figure for females saw a climb of 5% from over 78% to roughly 83%. From 1995 to 2000, Male gradutes was higher proportion than that of female. By contrast, there was a special time that the figure for both gender had the same proportion 83% of employment in four months.

Word Count: 185

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

graduates: 4

percentage: 4

proportion: 3

males: 3

figure: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and identifies the general trends, such as the upward movement and the convergence of the two genders. However, there is significant confusion regarding the data. The report cites figures (e.g., 80%, 81%, 84%, 83%) that do not align with the provided visual description (which places males in the 70% range and females in the 55-64% range). While the scoring is lenient toward data inaccuracies, the internal consistency of the report is compromised because the numbers provided do not match the trends described. To improve, ensure that the data points extracted from the chart are accurate and that the comparison between groups is clearly and logically structured.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of time and data. While there is an attempt at an overview, the body paragraphs lack a logical structure. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic (e.g., one paragraph for male trends and one for female trends, or one for the period 1995-1998 and another for 1999-2001). Use more effective cohesive devices and transition words to link sentences and ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite limited and repetitive. There are several instances of awkward phrasing (e.g., 'starting point number', 'special time') that do not sound natural in an academic report. To improve, aim to use a wider variety of synonyms for 'increase' (such as 'rise', 'climb', 'ascend') and 'decrease' (such as 'decline', 'drop', 'dip'). Work on using precise collocations, such as 'employment rates' or 'the proportion of graduates'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the report, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The graph give', 'Male gradutes was') and tense consistency. Sentence structures are often fragmented or run-on, which hinders clarity. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring that your verb tenses are consistent with the time period being described (the past tense should be used for historical data). Pay close attention to singular and plural noun usage.

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Band 4+: This bar chart shows the percentage of Australian graduates in full-time employment four months after graduating ,between 1995 and 2001. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

This bar chart shows the percentage of Australian graduates in full-time employment four months after graduating ,between 1995 and 2001. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

This bar chart shows the percentage of Australian graduates in full-time employment four months after graduating ,between 1995 and 2001. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

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