Bar Chart

Band 5+: This is an IELTS writing task 1 sample answer essay on the topic of number of adults participating in major sports from the real IELTS exam.

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The image displays a bar chart titled 'Number of adults participating in major sports, 1997 and 2017', with values in thousands. The participation numbers for 1997 and 2017 respectively were: Tennis, 50 and 54; Basketball, 8 and 23; Cricket, 25 and 7; Golf, 31 and 34; Swimming, 34 and 35; Football, 31 and 48; and Rugby, 32 and 49.

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The given bar chart depicts the amount of participants in various sports between 1997 and 2017.

Overall, it can be seen that the amount of participants in 1997 was lowered than the amount of participants in 2017. On the one hand, the highest of participants was on tennis between 1997 and 2017.

Focusing on the highest of participants in 1997, the participants in tennis was similar to the highest of participants in 2017. In 1997, the lowest of participants was basketball, at 9000. However, the lowests of participants in 2017 was cricket, at 6000. Moreover, the amount of participants in 1997 and 2017 were remain the same, at 3500.

Turning to the amount of participants in golf, in 2017, the amount of participants in golf was slightly rose from 1997. Furthermore, the amount of participants in 1997, the amount of participants in golf and the amount of participants in football was on the same rated.

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

participants: 15

amount: 9

highest: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains inaccuracies and lacks clear organization. The overview is very general and doesn't highlight key trends effectively. The body paragraphs contain some correct data points but also include inaccuracies and comparisons that are not always clear or relevant. The language is repetitive and lacks precision. To improve, focus on providing a more specific and accurate overview, organizing the body paragraphs around clear trends or comparisons, and using more varied and precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some attempt at organization, but the overall coherence is weak. The flow of information is not always logical, and the connections between sentences and paragraphs are not clearly established. The introduction and overview are basic. The body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions, making it difficult to follow the main points. Improve coherence by using more effective transition words and phrases, and by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-defined idea.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies in word choice ('amount' instead of 'number'). There is also some repetition of words and phrases, such as 'amount of participants.' Expand your vocabulary related to describing trends and data, and pay attention to using synonyms to avoid repetition. Focus on using more precise and varied language to describe the data. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('was lowered'), incorrect use of articles ('the highest of participants'), and awkward sentence structures. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and punctuation. Revise your work carefully to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence clarity. Focus on using a wider range of sentence structures and ensuring that your grammar is accurate.

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