Bar Chart

Band 7+: Top five activities of Children in Australia and the United Kingdom (2020)

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The image displays the top five activities of children in Australia and the United Kingdom in 2020; for watching TV, Australia has 59.9 while the United Kingdom has 36.2; for spending time with friends, Australia records 24.7 whereas the United Kingdom achieves 52.8; for playing or practising sport, Australia shows 43.2, and the United Kingdom shows 21.4; for playing computer games, Australia indicates 30.2 while the United Kingdom shows 27.7; for using the internet, Australia records 9.5, whereas the United Kingdom shows 11.3.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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This bar graph illustrates the favourite free time activities of high school students in Australia and the United Kingdom in the year 2020. Overall, children in both countries showed a strong preference for using the internet; however, Australian children also showed a preference for socialising and sporting activities whereas UK school children preferred playing video games and watching TV.

The most popular activity for school children in the United Kingdom was using the internet with 800 high school students saying that this is their favourite activity. Another popular activity for students in the UK was watching TV with 610 students preferring this. Less popular activities were playing sports and socialising with friends. Only 300 students have these as their favourite activities.

In Australia, using the internet was the most common favourite activity with 750 students enjoying this. At a similar level, 650 students liked spending time with friends. However, the number of students who listed watching TV and playing computer games as a favourite activity was lower with 400 students for the former and 200 students for the latter.

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 10

favourite: 5

activity: 5

school: 4

children: 4

activities: 3

using: 3

playing: 3

watching: 3

popular: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The overall trend is incorrectly stated (internet is not the most popular activity in either country; watching TV is highest in Australia and spending time with friends is highest in the UK). The figures provided do not match the visual description, and the report omits the activity of playing or practising sport entirely. To improve, ensure you accurately describe the main trends and compare the data correctly, using the exact values from the chart. Focus on the highest and lowest activities for each country and make clear comparisons between the two countries.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear structure with an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for each country. However, the overview is somewhat misleading as it states that children in both countries showed a strong preference for using the internet, which is not supported by the data (in fact, watching TV is the most popular in Australia, and spending time with friends is the most popular in the UK). This affects the logical flow of the report. The paragraphing is adequate, but the cohesion between ideas could be improved by using more linking words and ensuring that the information presented in the overview aligns with the details.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with some good attempts at paraphrasing (e.g., 'favourite free time activities' instead of 'top activities'). However, there is a limited range of vocabulary, and some phrases are repetitive (e.g., 'favourite activity' is used multiple times). The report could benefit from more varied and precise language, such as 'predominantly', 'notably', 'in contrast', and 'significantly higher/lower'. Additionally, the use of 'high school students' is not specified in the task, so it may be an assumption that is not supported by the data. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The grammar is largely accurate, with only minor issues. The report uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, and punctuation is generally correct. However, there are a few areas for improvement: the phrase 'Only 300 students have these as their favourite activities' could be more precise (e.g., 'Only 300 students reported these as their favourite activities'). Also, the use of 'the former' and 'the latter' is correct but could be clearer. Overall, the grammatical range is good, but there is room for more variety in sentence structures.

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