Letter

Band 5+: write a letter to ask for a company to be part of the trip organized to server non English speaking countries to educate in english

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Dear Ms Pasquale,

I hope this letter finds you well. This is to inform you that I am willing to be part of the voluntary trip to Toronto, Canada organized by your company Cultural Expeditions. I would like to participate for around 3 months which will give me ample time to share my English language skills with physically challenged children in Toronto.

To begin with, I am a software engineer and an enthusiastic person to help people around me. I have gained these teachings from my mom, she has been a social worker for ages. I have been doing social work like educating needy people to learn the language and being respectful in society for a long time.

Moreover, I would like to share my learning experiences, and command of language with backward people all over the world.

Having said that, I have expertise in teaching different languages gained from many of the local schools which makes myself to be a well-trained professional in this sector.

I would be grateful if you could consider my request to join your company for the next trip to Toronto consequently it will provide me with the required opportunity to serve local people in particular.

Thanks & Regards,

Word Count: 205

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 4

would: 3

language: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter partially addresses the task by expressing the desire to be part of the trip organized to serve non-English speaking countries. However, the focus on Toronto, Canada, and the mention of serving physically challenged children in Toronto deviates from the original task. It would be better to emphasize the intention to educate in English in non-English speaking countries.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is somewhat coherent and cohesive, but there are some issues. The organization of ideas could be improved for better clarity and flow. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs is limited. Consider using transition words and phrases to improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate, but there is room for improvement. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, especially related to volunteering, education, and cultural exchange. Additionally, pay attention to word choice and use more precise and sophisticated language to enhance lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors and awkward phrasings. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structures. Additionally, ensure proper punctuation and use of articles for better accuracy.

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