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Band 6+: yearly income 3 different bakery shops betwwen the years 2000-2010

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The image shows a line graph comparing the yearly income ($) of three entities from 2000 to 2010. Amandine Bakery, Green line: 2000-$40000, 2001-$80000, 2002-$100000, 2003-$80000, 2004-$100000, 2005-$120000, 2006-$100000, 2007-$120000, 2008-$100000, 2009-$120000, 2010-$100000. Mari Bakeshop, Blue line: 2000-$60000, 2001-$80000, 2002-$60000, 2003-$80000, 2004-$60000, 2005-$80000, 2006-$60000, 2007-$80000, 2008-$60000, 2009-$80000, 2010-$60000. Bolo Cakery, Orange line: 2000-$20000, 2001-$40000, 2002-$60000, 2003-$40000, 2004-$60000, 2005-$80000, 2006-$60000, 2007-$80000, 2008-$60000, 2009-$80000, 2010-$100000. Each line fluctuates but trends upward over time; Bolo Cakery shows steady growth, Amandine Bakery has slight decreases in some years, and Mari Bakeshop remains relatively constant.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph displays information about yearly sales of three different bakeries in Calgary( Amandine, Mari, Bolo) from the year 2000 to 2010.

Overall, Amandine Bakery was on the middle position between two other line graphs in and at the end hit the highest point. On the other hand, Mari Bakeshop was the most successful, but it shows gradually decrease of the sales.

In 2000, Mari Bakeshop accounted for the highest proportion of transactions, with approximately 80000 dollars, but it fell by half in 2010. By contrast, Amandine Bakery shows stability until 2005 and rose remarkable in 2010 with more than 100000 dollars.

In 2000, Bolo Cakery was the worst bakery with the lowest income of only 20000 dollars, but it started to increase sharply by 2003 and became stable. in 2007, it shows the significantly growth and reached 60000 dollars by 2010.

Word Count: 143

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

amandine: 3

bakery: 3

shows: 3

dollars: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main trends and providing some specific data points. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported and some areas where more detail could be included. To improve, ensure data accuracy and provide a more comprehensive overview of the trends, including comparisons between the bakeries at different points in time. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and attempts to group information, but the organization could be improved for better flow. The use of cohesive devices is present but could be more sophisticated to enhance the connection between ideas. Consider using more varied transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the information more smoothly. For example, instead of just saying 'In 2000,' you could use phrases like 'At the beginning of the period' or 'Initially.' Paragraphing is generally adequate, but ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'shows,' try using synonyms like 'demonstrates,' 'indicates,' or 'exhibits.' Also, consider using more specific vocabulary related to trends, such as 'peaked,' 'plateaued,' or 'fluctuated.' Expanding your lexical range will make the report more engaging and demonstrate a better command of the English language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate preposition usage. For example, 'gradually decrease of the sales' should be 'gradual decrease in sales.' Proofread carefully to identify and correct these errors. Improving grammatical accuracy will significantly enhance the overall quality of the report.

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