Letter

Band 6+: You borrowed a professional camera from your neighbor, but you accidentally dropped it and caused some damage to the lens. Write a letter to your neighbor apologizing for the accident. You should include details about: - how the accident happened - how much you regret the situation - what you propose to do to fix or replace the camera.

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Dear Sarah,

I am writing this letter to sincerely apologize for what happened to your camera. During my trip, while using it, I accidentally lost my grip and dropped it. I feel terrible about it, and I completely understand if you’re upset with me. Honestly, I would be too.

The truth is, I absolutely forgot to use the camera straps, and when the car ahead of us aggressively changed lanes, our bus suddenly hit the brakes, and I dropped it, and the lenses had cracked, and I immediately inspected it to know if it’s still working, but it’s unfortunately not working. I feel sorry for what happened, and I know it’s valuable for you. I regretfully broke your camera. I feel terrible about it.

I am willing to compensate the full sum of you’re broken camera or replace it with upgrade version so that you will appreciate my effort and forgive me for what I caused you. I know that it’s important to you, especially at work and in your business.

Again, I am truly sorry. Please let me make it up to you, dinner on me when you’re free tonight.

Take care,

Aldrin

Word Count: 194

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

camera: 4

you're: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter covers all three required points: how the accident happened, why you feel sorry, and what you intend to do to compensate. The tone is appropriately apologetic and sincere. However, there are some lapses in clarity and accuracy: the explanation of the accident is somewhat convoluted, and there are minor grammatical and word-choice issues (e.g., 'lenses' should be 'lens', 'you're' should be 'your', 'upgrade version' could be 'an upgraded version'). To improve, aim for clearer sentence structure and more precise language. Additionally, consider expanding on the compensation offer to make it more specific and realistic, and ensure the closing is more formal if needed.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally easy to follow, but there are some lapses in coherence. The first paragraph introduces the apology, but the second paragraph jumps into the accident details without a clear transition. The third paragraph shifts to compensation, and the final paragraph offers dinner, which feels abrupt. The paragraphing could be improved by grouping related ideas more logically. For example, the accident details and the regret could be combined, and the compensation and apology could be in separate paragraphs. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences are repetitive (e.g., 'I feel terrible about it' appears twice).

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there is limited range and some awkward phrasing. For example, 'I absolutely forgot to use the camera straps' is informal and could be more natural, such as 'I completely forgot to use the camera strap.' The phrase 'compensate the full sum of you're broken camera' is unclear and grammatically incorrect; it would be better to say 'compensate you for the full cost of your broken camera.' The use of 'upgrade version' is not idiomatic; 'an upgraded version' would be more natural. Overall, the lexical choices are functional but lack sophistication and precision.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'the lenses had cracked' should be 'the lens cracked' (subject-verb agreement and tense). 'I immediately inspected it to know if it's still working' mixes tenses; it should be 'I immediately inspected it to see if it was still working.' 'I am willing to compensate the full sum of you're broken camera' has a possessive error ('you're' should be 'your') and awkward phrasing. 'so that you will appreciate my effort and forgive me for what I caused you' is wordy and could be simplified. The letter also lacks variety in sentence structures, with many simple sentences. Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are run-on sentences, such as 'when the car ahead of us aggressively changed lanes, our bus suddenly hit the brakes, and I dropped it, and the lenses had cracked.'

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