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Letter

Band 4+: You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter explain why you would like the job give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia Write at least 150 words.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Sir / Madam,

I’m writing to apply for the employment which you seek because I have watched the information in the magazine. Moreover, I am confident to match the working.

First of all, I would like to introduce myself. I am a student of the APL University and I learn education. In addition, I searched the job which has the opportunity to communicate with young children. Due to the program of college, I have experienced spending young [children’s] leisure for a long time and I have an ability to take care of them and spend excellent quality time with them using the educational games which I study in my major. I am confident to match your requirements.

Secondly, I often go camping if I have plenty of time because I prefer to be unwind and de-stress in natural beauty such as rivers, forests, and observing wildlife.

If I will take part in your household, I would like you to attend my activity. By feeling nature gives not only you but also your kid an unforgettable memory.

In conclusion, if you are interested in my ability, please reply to my message.

Sincerely yours,

Nao

Word Count: 194

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

5.5

The letter adequately addresses all parts of the task. However, the response could be more detailed and persuasive.

Coherence & Cohesion

4.5

The letter's organization is understandable, but the flow could be improved with clearer transitions and more logical paragraphing. The numerous grammatical errors negatively impact the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

5

The vocabulary used is sufficient, but a wider range of more precise and sophisticated vocabulary would enhance the letter's impact. Some word choices are slightly inaccurate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

3

The letter contains numerous grammatical errors that significantly hinder clarity and fluency. Improved grammatical accuracy is essential.

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