Letter

Band 4+: You recently moved to a new city and want to join a fitness center. Write a letter to the manager of a local gym.

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Respected Sir,

This is to inform you, I am looking for a gym closed to me, I found this gym center on google maps and it seems better for me, therefore I can join the gym moreover I need to know more about the gym details facilities and timings gym is having right now, I would like to know more about is there is any instructor available in the gym this will be very helpful for me to strive and strengthen my ability I am new to the city and have left the fitness club while ago. The instructor I need is female because I am sacred of male instructors I don’t feel safe with them, however if it’s not available will it be possible to arrange on for me.

You must know how much fitness is required for nowadays people they eat a lot and right after they lay down not even take some steps that how I need to know that everyone should be in the gym and fitness center.

I am looking forward to listen from you soon.

Regards Kelly

Thanks

Word Count: 184

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

fitness: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter generally addresses the task but includes some irrelevant information and lacks sufficient detail in key areas. The request for information about the gym's facilities and timings is relevant, but the reasons for needing a female instructor and the general comments about fitness are less relevant and detract from the overall task achievement. To improve, focus on providing specific and relevant details directly related to the purpose of joining the gym and inquiring about its services.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is weak, and the flow of ideas is difficult to follow. The purpose of the letter is clear, but the progression of information feels disjointed. Consider structuring your letter with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing specific questions, and a concise conclusion. Using cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' 'however') more effectively can improve the connection between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and sometimes inappropriate for the context. For example, phrases like 'gym is having right now' and 'sacred of male instructors' could be improved. Expand your range of vocabulary by using synonyms and more precise language to convey your meaning. Focus on using vocabulary that is appropriate for a formal letter to a gym manager.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that impede understanding. There are issues with sentence structure, verb tense, and article usage. For example, 'I am looking for a gym closed to me' and 'is there is any instructor available' contain errors. Focus on using correct grammar and sentence structure. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your writing.

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Band 4+: You recently moved to a new city and want to join a fitness center. Write a letter to the manager of a local gym.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

You recently moved to a new city and want to join a fitness center. Write a letter to the manager of a local gym.

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Letter to a couple telling them you are interested in a teaching of your language job offer for their children

write a letter to the gym manager in your letter explain why you join the gym describe the problem you experienced ask for a solution or refund

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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