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Letter

Band 5+: You were hurt in a minor accident inside a supermarket, and you wish to complain to the supermarket. Write a letter to the manager of the supermarket. In your letter • say who you are • give details about the accident • suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents. Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is Hayden and I was hurt at your supermarket because of a terrorist attack in there. I believe that the security of the store should be increased so that the chances of a terrorist attack can decrease. There was 3 suspicious men dressed in Taliban clothing and they started attacking people in the store who were not following their commands. They bought guns into the store and started shooting people who doesn’t listen to them. I was one of them and I got injured by the gunshot that went into my heart. I had to pay a total of $6097.33 to the hospital all because of the gunshot wound from the terrorist, which can easily be prevented by adding more security in the store. I suggest that you guys add more security cameras and more people guarding the entrance so the chances of a terrorist attack will be decreased.

sincerely, Hayden.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

terrorist: 4

store: 4

attack: 3

security: 3

people: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

5.5

The letter does not accurately reflect the task. The letter should focus on a minor accident, not a terrorist attack. The letter should also provide specific details about the accident and how it happened.

Coherence & Cohesion

4.5

The letter lacks a clear and logical flow. The ideas are not well-connected and the writing is disjointed.

Lexical Resource

5.5

The letter uses a limited range of vocabulary and some words are used inappropriately.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4.5

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect the clarity and fluency of the writing.

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