Letter

Band 8+: You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to enquire about the possibility of relocating to Dubai for six months and working at the head office of Mashreq Bank.

I have been working in the IT department for the past 6 years, and recently I was promoted to Senior Vice President. In order to elevate my potential, I believe that transferring to the head office would help me achieve growth in my respective position. Furthermore, new digital banking systems have been introduced in Dubai’s office; therefore, it is the right time for me to uplift my expertise.

As we work in a digital bank; therefore, I am allowed to operate remotely. I can perform my duties while working from the head office. I can communicate and assign tasks to my team through emails, and have regular meetings with them. I will ensure that my teams productivity is not affected by my absence.

To my knowledge, the chief will be arriving this evening from Lahore. I would be grateful if you could arrange a meeting with him this evening or any day this week. The chief’s approval is mandatory for my transfer to the head office, any help in this regard is highly appreciated.

I would be thankful if you could look into this matter at your earliest convenience.

Yours faithfully,

Sara Hassan

Word Count: 221

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

office: 4

working: 3

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all three bullet points: it explains the reason for wanting to work at the head office (career growth and exposure to new digital banking systems), describes how work will be managed remotely (emails, meetings, ensuring productivity), and asks for the manager's help in arranging a meeting with the chief. The tone is appropriate and the letter is generally clear. However, there are some lapses: the greeting 'Dear Sir or Madam' is too formal for a letter to a known manager, and the request for help is somewhat indirect (asking to arrange a meeting rather than directly asking for support in the transfer). Additionally, the phrase 'To my knowledge, the chief will be arriving this evening' is slightly abrupt and could be more politely integrated. To improve, use a more personal salutation, make the request for assistance more explicit, and ensure all details are smoothly connected.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is well-organized and easy to follow. Each paragraph addresses a specific point from the task: the reason for the transfer, how work will be managed, and a request for assistance. The flow is logical, and the use of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'therefore', 'To my knowledge') is effective. However, there is a minor issue with the phrase 'As we work in a digital bank; therefore, I am allowed to operate remotely.' The use of a semicolon before 'therefore' is slightly awkward; a period or comma would be more natural. Overall, the message is clear and coherent.

Lexical Resource

The letter demonstrates a good range of vocabulary appropriate for a formal business context. Words like 'relocating', 'elevate my potential', 'uplift my expertise', and 'mandatory' are used effectively. The tone is professional and polite. There is a minor issue with 'my teams productivity' which should be 'my team's productivity' (possessive apostrophe). Additionally, 'the chief' is a bit informal; 'the Chief Executive' or 'the head of the department' would be more precise. Overall, the vocabulary is accurate and varied.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter shows a strong command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. Complex sentences are used correctly, and punctuation is generally accurate. The only notable error is the missing apostrophe in 'teams productivity' (should be 'team's productivity'). The sentence 'As we work in a digital bank; therefore, I am allowed to operate remotely.' is slightly awkward; it would be better as 'As we work in a digital bank, I am allowed to operate remotely.' or 'We work in a digital bank; therefore, I am allowed to operate remotely.' Overall, the grammar is accurate and the letter is well-written.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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