Opinion

Band 6+: Crime is a big problem in the world, and nothing can be done to prevent it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Nowadays, crime has become a potential challenge in many countries across the world. It is widely believed that this issue has become increasingly significantly across the globe. Certain experts opine that crime is a unstoppable offence and nothing can be done for its prevention. In my opinion, although crime can not be completely eliminated from any society, numerous effective measures can help to curtail its percentage. I disagree that nothing can be done for its control. This essay will discuss a few basic reasons behind criminal practices and some adequate remedies for its prevention.

To begin with the primary reason behind crime in any society, one vital reason is unemployment. For example, unemployment increases money stress in public leading to financial mal practices. If government could enhance employment and skills building level, income in economy may rise and crime rate will decline. In addition, weak justice system is another cause behind crime. For instance, criminal people acquire pre arrest bail which enhance their level of confidence for their future fraudulent. If state could ensure and efficient quick justice system and punishment system, crime rate will be definitely decrease.

Moreover, lack of staffs in law enforcement is another cause of crime. For example, criminal stay unattended and unmonitored due to lack of resources with police. If state could increase staff in these department and increase the technology like surveillance, CCTV and mobile monitoring then, crime ratio will also decrease.

In my conclusion, although crime cannot be completely eliminated from any society, certain effective measures can reduce its percentage. In my personal perspective, the acquisition of modern surveillance tools and quick justice system can ensure stiff monitoring and decline crime rate is any society across the world.

Word Count: 285

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

crime: 11

society: 4

system: 4

across: 3

behind: 3

criminal: 3

could: 3

justice: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that crime can be reduced through measures, though not eliminated. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, but there is some lack of focus and precision in the development of ideas. The essay could benefit from more thorough exploration of counterarguments and a more balanced discussion. Additionally, there are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. To improve, consider refining the language for greater accuracy and providing more detailed and specific examples to strengthen the argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing and a logical progression of ideas. The introduction clearly states the writer's position, and each body paragraph focuses on a specific cause and solution. However, some transitions could be smoother, and the conclusion could more explicitly restate the opinion. Overall, coherence and cohesion are handled effectively, but there is room for refinement in linking sentences and ideas.

Lexical Resource

The writer uses a range of vocabulary, but there are several inaccuracies and awkward phrasings (e.g., 'increasingly significantly', 'a unstoppable offence', 'financial mal practices', 'pre arrest bail', 'fraudulent', 'staffs', 'crime ratio'). These errors sometimes hinder clarity. To improve, focus on using more precise and natural word choices, and proofread to avoid such mistakes. Expanding vocabulary related to crime and prevention would also enhance the essay. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors (e.g., subject-verb agreement, article usage, preposition errors, incorrect word forms). These errors occasionally obscure meaning. To achieve a higher score, practice using a wider range of structures with greater accuracy, and pay attention to common grammar rules such as articles, singular/plural forms, and verb tenses.

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