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Band 6+: In every country, there are driving laws to ensure road safety. Some people, however, still break these laws, such as by speeding or using mobile phones while driving. What are the reasons for this? What measures could help solve this problem?

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There are laws for driving safely on the road in every nation. However, some people broke these laws by speeding up or using mobile phones while driving. Although there are various reasons that could lead to these issues, many measurements can be taken to overcome these problems.

Out of all the causes, the most prominent reason for people speeding up would be due to emergency cases. Since people are in an emergency situation, they tend to disobey the rules and speed up, resulting in accidents, which could harm other people as well. Statistics indicate that most of the serious accidents such as car crashes are often caused by speeding up due to emergency cases. One way to overcome this is by creating a path for rushing cars, meaning they can take this route rather than regular one so that accidents can be reduced.

One significant reason for people using mobile phones while driving would be related to work. For instance, people are using their mobile phones to call others for work purposes and breaking the rules unintentionally. If people are calling other people while driving, this could distract them from the road, causing more accidents. However, this could be overcome by the development of technology in cars. As more cars contain built-in bluetooth systems, people can now use this system to call others without needing to get their hands off the steering wheel, meaning they are less likely to be distracted.

In conclusion, although there are various causes attributed to people breaking the laws while driving, improvement of technology and government support can help alleviate these issues.

Word Count: 267

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 10

driving: 5

these: 4

while: 4

could: 4

accidents: 4

there: 3

speeding: 3

using: 3

mobile: 3

phones: 3

overcome: 3

emergency: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt by identifying specific reasons (emergencies and work-related calls) and proposing corresponding solutions (dedicated emergency lanes and Bluetooth technology). A clear position is maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas could be more robust. For instance, the argument regarding 'emergency cases' is somewhat narrow; while valid, it overlooks more common reasons for law-breaking such as negligence, overconfidence, or lack of enforcement. Additionally, the conclusion introduces 'government support,' which was not explicitly discussed in the body paragraphs. To improve, ensure that every solution proposed in the conclusion has been thoroughly developed in the body, and try to explore a wider range of causes to provide a more comprehensive response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing the two parts of the prompt, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the transition between identifying the cause (emergencies) and the solution (emergency lanes) is a bit abrupt. To improve, use more sophisticated cohesive devices and ensure that each sentence flows logically into the next to create a more seamless argument.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic and is generally accurate, but it tends to be repetitive. For instance, the phrase 'speeding up' and 'emergency cases' are used multiple times. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider range of synonyms (e.g., 'exceeding speed limits,' 'urgent circumstances,' or 'pressing matters') and more academic collocations to demonstrate lexical flexibility. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are issues with tense consistency (e.g., switching between 'broke' in the introduction and 'are using' in the body) and some awkward phrasing (e.g., 'without needing to get their hands off the steering wheel'). Focus on maintaining consistent verb tenses and refining sentence structures to ensure they sound more natural and precise.

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