Opinion

Band 6+: In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

It is argued that in many countries citizens pay for health care, while others believe it should be the duty of the government to provide these services for free. Although every individual has the right to free health service, I agree people should pay for medical care that provides them with better medical care and leads to healthy lifestyles.

One the one hand, medical care should be made available to every citizen in a country as part of a human right. Many people in some countries are not able to purchase medical care and pay it on a monthly basis; however, the government receives tax money from them, therefore healthcare should be provided for poor communities. Moreover, public services should be provided by the state which includes health care, security such as police force. fire departments and emergency response units. For example, when someone is in an accident, parties that are involved have the right to be transported to the nearest hospital for medical care. However, one negative point is that government healthcare can fail the community due to insufficient funding.

The main benefit for having medical insurance ensuring quality service in case of emergency. Most medical insurance companies are affiliated with private hospitals that have specialised medical practitioners and high standard equipment to provide individuals with the best medical care. Furthermore, humans might be forced to live a healthier lifestyle when on medical care. When having private medical insurance, people can be limited on medical expenses which can result in the customers paying extra money to get medicine or health equipment such as diabetic pumps or wheelchairs. For instance, medical care packages can limit users up to a certain amount for outpatient visits or dentist appointments and this can result in customers paying money out of their private accounts to ensure medical services.

In conclusion, although people have the right to free medical care; however, government’s health department can fail to provide the services due to lack of funding. I totally agree that for citizens to have the best medical care that they can relay, they need to pay extra for the service and care that they want.

Word Count: 359

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

medical: 16

health: 5

should: 5

right: 4

people: 4

government: 3

provide: 3

services: 3

service: 3

however: 3

money: 3

insurance: 3

private: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by presenting a clear position (agreeing that people should pay for medical care) and providing some relevant ideas and examples. However, the development of ideas lacks clarity and precision in places. For instance, the argument about government healthcare failing due to insufficient funding is mentioned but not fully explored. Additionally, the essay could benefit from more coherent paragraph structure and clearer links between ideas. To improve, focus on developing each point with more specific examples and ensuring that the position is consistently supported throughout the essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized with clear paragraphs for each main point. The introduction presents the topic and the writer's position, and the conclusion summarizes the argument. However, the flow could be improved. For example, the transition from the first body paragraph (arguing for free healthcare) to the second (arguing for paid healthcare) is abrupt. Using clearer linking words or phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Conversely' would enhance coherence. Additionally, some sentences within paragraphs could be more logically connected to improve the overall cohesion.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of terms like 'human right', 'insufficient funding', 'specialised medical practitioners', and 'high standard equipment'. There is evidence of some flexibility and control. However, there are a few instances of less natural phrasing, such as 'people can be limited on medical expenses' and 'medical care that they can relay'. Using more precise and natural collocations would enhance the lexical resource. For example, 'people may face limitations on medical expenses' or 'medical care they can rely on'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, and demonstrates good grammatical control overall. There are only minor errors, such as 'One the one hand' (should be 'On the one hand') and a missing comma in 'security such as police force. fire departments' (should be 'security, such as the police force, fire departments'). The punctuation is generally appropriate. To achieve a higher score, the writer could aim for even greater accuracy and a wider range of structures, such as using more conditional or passive constructions.

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