Discussion

Band 5+: In many countries, the media often focuses on negative news and sensational stories. Some people believe this makes society more aware of problems, while others argue it creates unnecessary fear and distrust. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Many individual think that media news has become too focused on disadvantages such asdisasters, crimes. Another believe it should see more on good sides. This essay I will be discussing both perspective view and give me my point of view.

On the one hand, many people think news media has become too focused on negative sides. When our country face some problem and this time media mainly show negative news. Jurnalists think, this time many individual like to show this type of news and want to whats happened right now. For instant, On july trajedy many individual was crazy to see this situation in country. To the point of view,some time people want to watch negative news.

On the other hand, other believe that news media should focused more on possitive development. Because, many people have some physical issues like hart problem. When this type of people see the negaative news they can more unhelthy. Also positive news can remove our stress. Although most of the time kids watch tv show, since positive news help their growth. For example,when child show a educational program like crafting, afterword they want to create some. To some up, it’s impact many way to our life.

In my opinion, I think both are important. Tv channel should both balanced all type of news. Because of, different age also different condition people watch TV.

In conclude, All type of good news, whether in the education sector, technology sector, or health sector, can be good effect for people and their future.

Word Count: 255

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 6

think: 4

media: 4

individual: 3

focused: 3

should: 3

negative: 3

watch: 3

sector: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, the ideas presented lack clarity and could be more developed. The examples provided are somewhat generic and could be more specific to strengthen the arguments. To improve, focus on providing clearer explanations and more concrete examples to support your points. Also, ensure that your opinion is clearly stated and well-supported throughout the essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some attempt at organization, but the flow of ideas is often difficult to follow. Paragraphing is present but could be improved to better separate and develop distinct points. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak, hindering the overall coherence. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument. Each paragraph should focus on a single, clear idea, supported by relevant examples and explanations.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice. The language used is quite basic, and there is little evidence of sophisticated or nuanced expression. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language. Pay attention to collocations and the appropriate use of words in context. Reading widely and actively noting new vocabulary can be beneficial. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and problems with articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. These errors significantly impede understanding. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Review grammar concepts and seek feedback on your writing to identify and correct recurring errors.

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