Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 5+: In many countries, the use of personal drones is becoming increasingly popular. What are the advantages and disadvantages of allowing individuals to operate drones in public spaces? Should there be stricter regulations regarding their use?

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These days, people use unmanned aerial vehicles, called drones in many parts of the world as a personal and commercial purposes. Many benefits and drawbacks contribute to this trend. Due to an advance technology and an increasing number of people, there are different opinions on using this technology.

One of the advantages of using drones for personal and commerical purposes is that some people would like to record the scenery and views of the mountains while travelling. In this case, using drones can capture beautiful nature above the sky. Some people share this video as an achievement, some upload this capture for advertisements. Moreover, some people use drones as robots in some dangerous areas. For instance, using drones in spraying chemicals or fertilizing the plants. This activity is very useful in agriculture.

One of the drawbacks of this technology is that it could break other’s privacy. For example, some people do not want to share their private area or activities. However, using that machine could disturb other’s privacy. Another disadvantage is that some people use it as a weapon to attack others. As a consequence, it will be a serious killing machine. Therefore, governement or some of the areas should strictly upload the rules and regulations of using drones. Some areas should use drone-cut machines to protect their area.

In conclusion, using drones with the stricter regulations can help and support the society. I beleive that government should carefully check the industries and introduce the regulations for industries and users. By doing that there will be less danger of using drones.

Word Count: 261

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

drones: 8

using: 8

people: 7

areas: 3

should: 3

regulations: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both benefits and drawbacks of drone use and touches on the need for stricter regulations. A clear position is presented in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas lacks depth and precision; for example, the benefits are limited to recording scenery and agricultural use, and the drawbacks focus on privacy and weaponization without detailed explanation or strong supporting evidence. The discussion of regulations is somewhat vague and could be more specific. To improve, aim to extend each point with more relevant examples or reasoning, and ensure a more balanced and focused exploration of both benefits and drawbacks. Additionally, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between sentences. For example, the transition from the benefit of recording scenery to using drones in agriculture could be smoother. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more tightly linked to the preceding discussion. To improve, use more cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'in contrast,' 'as a result') and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed logically.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses some relevant vocabulary related to drones (e.g., 'capture beautiful nature,' 'spraying chemicals,' 'privacy,' 'weapon'). However, there are several errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'upload the rules' should be 'implement the rules,' 'drone-cut machines' is unclear). The range of vocabulary is limited, and some phrases are repetitive (e.g., 'some people' is used multiple times). To improve, expand your vocabulary with more precise terms (e.g., 'aerial photography,' 'surveillance,' 'regulatory framework') and use synonyms to avoid repetition. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include incorrect prepositions ('as a personal and commercial purposes' should be 'for personal and commercial purposes'), subject-verb agreement ('governement should... upload' should be 'governments should... implement'), and spelling mistakes ('commerical,' 'beleive,' 'governement'). Punctuation is generally adequate but could be improved (e.g., missing commas after introductory phrases). To improve, focus on proofreading for common errors and practice using a wider range of grammatical structures, such as conditional sentences and relative clauses, with accuracy.

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