Opinion

Band 7+: In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday Do you agree or disagree

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There are a few things that make a person euphoric and excited; one of them is visiting a new place on a holiday. There is an opinion becoming popular among people that in the future, people will prefer to go on trips around their own country instead of visiting a foreign nation on a vacation. I, to some extent, agree with the opinion, as I think people will still travel to other countries when they get some time off from their jobs.

The chief reason why people would prefer to travel around their own country is that it is budget-friendly and familiar. Visiting a foreign country can cost a lot: airplane tickets alone may cost a fortune, and at the same time, travelling to some foreign country can also be terrifying because the language and the culture may feel alien. For example, Pakistanis would like to travel around their own country as compared to visiting a country in Europe or the Americas, as, firstly, it is expensive and at the same time, unfamiliar people, language and culture may spook them as well. Hence, a lot of people would prefer to stay in their own homeland for a vacation.

On the other hand, there will not either be a shortage of people who would travel to a foreign country, as there are financially stable people and at the same time, these people are also the ones who cherish new cultures, languages, cuisines and landscapes. Besides, there are travel bloggers and content creators who travel to new destinations in the country and outside of the country just for the content, as it is their work. Therefore, it would be safe to say, there will be a number of people who would be going on trips to other nations as well.

In conclusion, different factors related to finances, security, content creation and just the nature of the individuals play a decisive role in whether people will travel abroad more or just roam around their own country. In other words, it cannot be said with hundred percent certainty what would be the case, but one thing is for sure, people will continue to travell both domestically and internationally.

Word Count: 364

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 12

country: 10

their: 7

travel: 7

would: 7

there: 6

visiting: 4

around: 4

foreign: 4

other: 4

prefer: 3

content: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt. You have presented a clear position - that while domestic travel may increase due to cost and familiarity, international travel will persist due to cultural interest and professional needs. The ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of Pakistani travelers and the role of content creators. To improve and reach a higher band, ensure that your conclusion more directly reinforces your specific stance on the 'future' aspect of the prompt. While you addressed the factors influencing the choice, explicitly linking them back to the prediction of a shift in trends would strengthen the cohesion. Additionally, be careful with minor word choices (e.g., using 'spook' is slightly informal for an academic essay; 'intimidate' or 'unsettle' would be more appropriate) to maintain a consistently formal tone.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that address different sides of the argument, and a concluding summary. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. To improve, try to use a wider variety of cohesive devices and transitions. Some transitions, like 'at the same time,' are used repetitively. Aim for more sophisticated linking words to connect complex ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

You have used a good range of vocabulary, including words like 'euphoric,' 'budget-friendly,' 'alien,' and 'decisive role.' The use of 'spook' is slightly informal for an academic essay; consider using 'intimidate' or 'unsettle' instead. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing (e.g., 'travel to a foreign country' vs 'visiting a foreign nation'). Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are clear and convey the intended meaning. However, there are minor errors in phrasing and some awkward constructions (e.g., 'There is an opinion becoming popular among people that...'). Pay attention to article usage and ensure that your sentence structures remain varied without becoming overly wordy. Refining the precision of your grammar will help improve the overall flow.

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