Opinion

Band 6+: It is argued that parents of children who break the law should be punished as they are responsible for their children's actions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is thought that, parents should be responsible if their children commit a crime or take part in violent behavior.This essay strongly agrees with the view because, not only do parents demonstrate arguments to their children and they learn inappropriate behaviors from their parents but without parent supervise and manners they can also commit a crime.

First and foremost, what makes this issue crucial is that, some parents reveal their personal arguments to their children.Children are like a mirror and they can hear a bad word or inappropriate behavior.Subsequently, when they grow up they will implement all of them to their peers or adults.For example, in United States of America a black boy killed a blonde girl.The reason was she was blonde and white.When it comes to his family, they were rude and abusive and not surprisingly that boy showed his family’s manners.

Furthermore, some parents do not set regulations and supervise their children enough.So, they grow up without parental teaching. They do not comprehend the meaning of being honest,friendly and etc. Additionally they cannot choose what is right for them and gradually they choose the wrong way for themselves.For instance, in Baku a boy was found by surveillance cameras while killing someone for money. It was found that his dad was in prison and recently he was released and mom was drug user.

In conclusion, i strongly believe that parents should avoid displaying their arguments to their children and focus on equipping them with valuable manners to prevent them from illegal behaviors.

Word Count: 253

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 9

parents: 6

children: 4

arguments: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position of agreement. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, but the development lacks depth and precision. The first example is somewhat unclear and the second is underdeveloped. To improve, ensure each paragraph fully explains how the example supports the argument, and consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen the position. Additionally, refine the language for clarity and avoid informal phrasing.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The main ideas are presented and supported with examples. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and a lack of cohesive devices. For instance, the link between the example in the first body paragraph and the point about parents demonstrating arguments could be smoother. Additionally, the conclusion could more effectively summarize the main points. To improve, use a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition', 'Consequently') and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, including some topic-specific terms like 'legally responsible', 'violent behavior', and 'parental teaching'. There are attempts at more sophisticated phrasing, such as 'children are like a mirror'. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward expressions, such as 'demonstrate arguments' (likely meaning 'display arguments' or 'argue in front of children') and 'without parent supervise' (should be 'without parental supervision'). To improve, expand your vocabulary for discussing crime and responsibility, and practice using collocations correctly. Also, avoid informal or unclear phrases like 'and etc.'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, with some correct use of relative clauses and conditionals. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity, such as subject-verb agreement ('parents demonstrate arguments to their children and they learn' - the subject changes awkwardly), incorrect word forms ('parent supervise' should be 'parental supervision'), and punctuation issues (missing commas, run-on sentences). The grammar checker noted only minor errors, but these still impact the overall accuracy. To improve, review sentence structure, ensure subject-verb agreement, and practice using a wider range of complex structures with accuracy.

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Band 6+: It is argued that parents of children who break the law should be punished as they are responsible for their children's actions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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It is argued that parents of children who break the law should be punished as they are responsible for their children’s actions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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