Positive And Negative

Band 5+: Nowadays, more and more people decide to eat healthy food and exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this trend? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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In contemporary society eating healthy food and doing sport have become a new trend, as individuals understand how unhealthy food and sedentary lifestyle can impact their lives and lead to several diseases. I believe this changes are positive and beneficial.

One of the main reasons why people are trying to eat nutritiously is understanding that they could live a longer life with such lifestyle. That is because food that consist a lot of sugar, salt, oil, and chemical additives, evidently, cause different types of illness, such as diabetes, cancer, heart diseases, and many others. For instance, scientist from university of Florida have done a research that has had a terrifying results: among humans who drink ‘Coca Cola’ every day average life duration is around 70 years old. Ultimately, almost everyone is afraid of death.

Secondly, life without exercising leads to difficulties in the old age. As a result of sedentary lifestyle, muscles start decreasing after the age of 23. The clear example of it is elders who are moving with the real force. Therefore, sport is essential, if humans want to be energetic and feel comfortable in the old age.

In conclusion, the new generation understands the consequences of an unhealthy lifestyle, thats why they have so much motivation to change it. From my perspective this trend is pretty beneficial idea.

Word Count: 221

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

lifestyle: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay appropriately addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing reasons for the trend and presenting a clear position that it is positive. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples, though some supporting details lack precision and development. For improvement, ensure that examples are more specific and credible, avoid minor grammatical errors (e.g., 'this changes' should be 'these changes'), and consider expanding on the second part of the question with a more balanced discussion of potential negative aspects. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and minor logical gaps. For example, the transition from the first reason to the second could be smoother. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more concise. To improve, use more cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in addition') to link ideas within and between paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea with clear supporting details.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, including terms like 'sedentary lifestyle', 'nutritiously', and 'chemical additives'. However, there are some inaccuracies and informal expressions, such as 'real force' (likely meaning 'great effort') and 'pretty beneficial idea'. The phrase 'have had a terrifying results' contains a grammatical error. To enhance lexical resource, aim for more precise and formal vocabulary, and avoid colloquialisms. For instance, replace 'pretty beneficial idea' with 'a highly beneficial development'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include: 'this changes are' (should be 'these changes are'), 'food that consist' (should be 'food that consists'), 'have had a terrifying results' (should be 'had terrifying results'), and 'thats why' (should be 'that is why'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, such as missing commas after introductory phrases. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and proper punctuation. Proofreading carefully can help reduce these errors.

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