Opinion

Band 7+: Nowadays,the majority of aspects of the people's way to dress are affected by international fashion trends.

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Nowadays, many aspects of the way people dress are influenced by global fashion trends. This influence is especially strong among young people because of social media and the internet. In my opinion, global fashion has both advantages and disadvantages.

On the one hand, global fashion trends give people more choices. People can easily see different styles from other countries on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For example, young people can follow Korean, American or European fashion and choose clothes that they like. It can also help people to express their personality and feel more confident. In addition, people can learn about other cultures through fashion.

On the other hand, there are some negative effects. Many people feel pressure to wear fashionable or expensive clothes because they want to look like celebrities or their friends. As a result, they may spend too much money on clothes which they do not really need. Another disadvantage is that traditional clothing can become less popular. Some young people are more interested in international trends and may pay less attention to their own culture.

In conclusion, global fashion trends have a significant influence on how people dress today. Although they provide more choices and help people express themselves, they can also create pressure and make traditional styles less popular. I believe that following fashion is fine, but people should also keep their own style and culture.

Word Count: 230

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 12

fashion: 6

global: 4

trends: 4

their: 4

young: 3

other: 3

clothes: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay fully addresses the prompt by exploring the multifaceted nature of global fashion influence. A clear position is maintained throughout the response, and the ideas are logically organized into distinct advantages and disadvantages. Each point is well-developed with relevant examples, such as the role of social media platforms and the impact on traditional culture. To maintain this high standard, ensure that you continue to balance your arguments with such clarity and cohesion. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is very well-organized and easy to follow. You have used a clear structure with an introduction, two distinct body paragraphs representing different sides of the argument, and a concise conclusion. Transition signals like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In addition' are used effectively to guide the reader. To reach a higher band, you could attempt to use more sophisticated cohesive devices that integrate more seamlessly into the sentences rather than relying on standard introductory phrases.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is accurate, appropriate, and relevant to the topic. You successfully convey your ideas using terms like 'express their personality', 'significant influence', and 'traditional clothing'. However, the vocabulary is somewhat safe and functional. To improve, try to incorporate more academic or sophisticated synonyms. For example, instead of saying 'give people more choices', you could use 'offers a diverse array of options', or instead of 'negative effects', you could use 'detrimental consequences'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The grammatical accuracy is high, and the essay is free from any errors that impede communication. You demonstrate a good command of complex sentence structures, such as using 'because of', 'although', and relative clauses ('which they do not really need'). To move toward a band 9, aim to increase the variety of your sentence structures even further, perhaps by incorporating more conditional sentences (if/unless) or passive voice constructions to add a more formal, academic tone.

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Task Response

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Lexical Resource

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