Discussion

Band 5+: Some people believe that the increasing reliance on artificial intelligence in healthcare improves patient outcomes and reduces costs, while others argue that it poses significant risks to privacy and human dignity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Its discuss nowdays that the increasing reliance on artificial intelligence in healthy tretaments shows better patient outcomes and get the cost to lower. While others its relutent about, saying that use its prone to risking privacy and human dignity. In my opinion, this activity is a huge help and needs to be use.

To begin with, as a student of computer science I am in contact with some ways to develop the artificial intelligence for assist in specific topics, with good research, materials and experts to confirm the results, its safe to say that the efficiency of the AI its totally fundament in the investment that has. As a result, it could really help with some insights and outcomes for the situation of the patient. A good example of this is the case of a woman that discoved a start of a tumor on her head because of an analyses of an AI, making possible to started the treatement soon as possible.

However, its debatable the ethic on the material that will be used in training the artificial intelligence because some cases gonna be necessary to use real situations of past treatements to make it learn about all type of conditions that may occur, and its necessary to ask the patient with they agree in the use of they information. In addition, the machine does not have felling like us, so its possible of them offer some relusations that could offend someones dignity, religion, etc.

In conclusion, the uttility of artificial intelligence in healthcare its a polemic topic that has both negative and positive points, with the use of unauthorized materials for AI learning process, but the possibility of discover health problems early than normally. Taking everthing into account, I really beliave that AI is a help tool in healthy department.

Word Count: 301

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

artificial: 4

intelligence: 4

patient: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both views and presents a clear opinion, but the development is limited and lacks precision. The first body paragraph focuses on personal experience and a specific example, which is relevant but not fully extended. The second body paragraph touches on ethical concerns but does not elaborate sufficiently. The conclusion summarizes the main points but could be more decisive. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, provide more detailed support and examples, and refine the language for clarity and accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is often disrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, making it difficult to follow the argument at times. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate. To improve, focus on using clear topic sentences and linking words to connect ideas more smoothly. Ensure each paragraph has a central idea and that the progression from one point to the next is logical.

Lexical Resource

The essay attempts to use a range of vocabulary, but there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'healthy tretaments', 'relutent', 'fundament', 'relusations'). Some phrases are informal or inappropriate for an academic essay (e.g., 'its discuss', 'gonna be'). To improve, expand your vocabulary and practice using words in the correct context. Use more precise and formal language, and avoid informal contractions and slang.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the essay, including subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'Its discuss nowdays' should be 'It is discussed nowadays', and 'the efficiency of the AI its totally fundament' should be 'the efficiency of AI is totally fundamental'. These errors significantly affect clarity. To improve, review basic grammar rules, practice writing more complex sentences, and proofread your work carefully. Focus on using a variety of sentence structures accurately.

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