Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 4+: Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

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In modern world, social media help for people to connect with each other and learn new information. I believe social media give more opportunities for people, but it has a some disadvantages.

There are several ways why social media is beneficial for people. Firstly, it allows us to connect and keep in touch with family. For example, when people work ,study and live another country, they are easily connected and conversation with family members. Secondly, people can find information easily. They can search some information or materials, and they easily find it. Finally, people, especially students, can learn new something such as they watch video lessons and some educational apps help to improve their skills.

Nevertheless, under no circumstances should we ignore negative effect for life . People spend too much time in social media. When people watch video or play games, they do not care about time and their study responsibilities. In addition, a lot of people believe fake news especially old humans. So it cause confusion and issue. Furthermore, when people chatting with families in the social media, they can not face to face communication with each other. As a result, reduce real communication and feel isolated.

In conclusion, social media offer opportunities for people and students. Although some negative side, I believe positive side are much greater.

Word Count: 220

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 11

social: 6

media: 6

information: 3

believe: 3

easily: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, but the development is somewhat limited and lacks depth. There are some lapses in clarity and precision, particularly in the expression of ideas and the use of language. To improve, focus on developing each point more fully, providing more specific and varied examples, and ensuring that the argument is logically structured with clear topic sentences. Additionally, work on grammatical accuracy and range to enhance the overall clarity and coherence of the essay. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is often disrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The use of cohesive devices is basic and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'In modern world' should be 'In the modern world'). Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively managed to separate ideas clearly. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic with smooth transitions.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but limited in range and precision. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary (e.g., 'under no circumstances', 'isolated'), but these are not always used accurately. Some word choices are informal or imprecise (e.g., 'new something', 'old humans'). To improve, expand your vocabulary to include more precise and formal terms, and practice using collocations correctly. Avoid repetition and aim for more sophisticated expressions. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'social media help' should be 'social media helps'), articles (e.g., 'a some disadvantages'), and sentence structure (e.g., 'when people work ,study and live another country'). Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, review basic grammar rules, practice writing complex sentences, and proofread your work carefully. Focus on accuracy to ensure your ideas are communicated clearly.

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