Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 4+: Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

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In our contemporary world many people have oppotunity to use wireless Internet for different purpose, espessially for communication thanks to specific servesies. From my perspective, the advantages of using social media actually outweight the disadvantages and I can explain why.

‎One of the most essential advantage of chatting in social media is independence of geolocation. Individuals can talk to each other by their gadgets regardless of where they are. It makes communication free, fast and also it gives more oppotunities for working online and finding sutable variants of creating career and finding promotional prospects.

‎Other reason why social media is nessessary for people is speed and comfort of exchanging information. If you have clear way to connect to Internet, it will not be problem to use it. The knowledge from different spheres can be use by anybody. Moreover, information about events and occasions can be vital for nation and by this reason government can write it in media too. In my opinion, advantages of Internet is obvious.

‎However, we should not forget about disadvantage of online servecies. The information in virtual environment can be negative and even disastrous, particularly for children and teenagers. It is the reason why many people have skeptical poin of view about social media. To tell the truth, fake, depression content and cyberstalking are really dangerous for persons datas and mental health, but this problem has solution. Firstly, adults should learn the basic rules of digital and computer literacy in order to be aware of risks. Secondly, parents should pay attention on what they children watch and read in the Internet, because they are responsible for their secure. Undoubtedly, using social media have drawbacs, but individuals can reduce negative effects.

‎In coclusion, I woul like to say that using social media have advantages and disadvantages, but oppotunities of communication between people, speed and comfort is more essential than risks. So I prefer think that positive sides outweight negative.

Word Count: 322

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

media: 7

social: 6

people: 4

internet: 4

communication: 3

advantages: 3

using: 3

reason: 3

information: 3

about: 3

should: 3

negative: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position that advantages outweigh disadvantages. The main ideas are relevant and supported with some development, but there are lapses in clarity and precision. The argument could be strengthened by providing more specific examples and elaborating on how the advantages are more significant than the disadvantages. Additionally, the essay would benefit from clearer paragraphing and more precise language to enhance coherence and task achievement.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For example, the second body paragraph shifts abruptly from discussing the speed of information exchange to the government's use of media. To improve, use more explicit linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed logically. Also, the conclusion could be more concise and directly restate the main arguments.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'independence of geolocation', 'promotional prospects', and 'cyberstalking'. However, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'oppotunity', 'espessially', 'servesies', 'outweight', 'nessessary', 'sutable', 'servecies', 'poin', 'drawbacs', 'coclusion', 'woul') and some awkward word choices (e.g., 'clear way to connect to Internet', 'persons datas'). To improve, focus on accurate spelling and more precise, natural collocations. For instance, use 'outweigh' instead of 'outweight', and 'personal data' instead of 'persons datas'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences. However, there are numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity, such as subject-verb agreement ('advantages ... is', 'using social media have'), incorrect verb forms ('can be use'), and missing articles ('the Internet' instead of 'Internet'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some missing commas and periods. To improve, review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement and article usage, and proofread carefully to correct these errors.

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