Discussion

Band 5+: Some people believe that the widespread use of artificial intelligence will bring more benefits than drawbacks to modern societies. Others argue that it will create serious social and ethical problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Over the past few decades, the advancement in technology has attracted significant attention due to its profound impact on society. A segment of society believes that improvement in technology brings more benefits to society. While there is a growing consensus among people that this development in artificial intelligence cause adverse effect on society. I partially agree with both these viewpoints as enhancement of technology l leads to both benefits and problems in future.

On the one hand, nowadays every sector, such as educational and medical has been positively influenced by the progress in cutting edge technologies. These advancements reduce the complexity of work and make everything accessible for everyone with less cost. For an example, a decade ago cost for a heart surgery in India was more than 10 lakhs due to the availability of highly skilled experienced doctors but nowadays the cost for this surgery is affordable after the invention of medical robots. Additionally, in these days every lesson at school is recorded and it is provided to students with using some application called Zoom and Team meeting .These platforms provide another add on features for students to clear doubts instantly by using artificial intelligence.

On the other hand, however technology plays a vital role in shaping the society it also causes some serious issues. Due to the improvement in technology people tends to more rely on it to finish their work very quickly. This reduces the creativity among students and working professionals and also damages their brain’s cells. Moreover, as every app asks for personal credentials to sign up and create an account in different platforms , these apps hiddenly keep personal details of every individual and also will creates security problems in future. For instance, recently the president of America , Trump’s Facebook account got hacked by a anonymous man and he leaked some details on social media.

To conclude, the discussion of whether improvement of technology brings benefits or cause problems in future clearly revealed that technology has two sides as a coin both positive and negative sides. I am convinced that how technology can impact people totally depends on the way people manage to use technology with proper caution. can you correct this line by line

Word Count: 371

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

technology: 9

society: 5

these: 5

people: 4

every: 4

improvement: 3

benefits: 3

problems: 3

students: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the benefits and the drawbacks of AI, and it provides a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. While the examples provided (medical robots and Zoom) are relevant, the connection to 'Artificial Intelligence' specifically is a bit weak in some areas; for instance, Zoom and Teams are communication tools rather than AI-driven technologies themselves. Additionally, some arguments, such as technology 'damaging brain cells,' lack sufficient logical development or scientific grounding to be fully persuasive. To improve, ensure that your examples directly support the specific technology mentioned in the prompt (AI). Instead of general technology, focus on machine learning, automated decision-making, or generative AI. Furthermore, try to deepen the analysis of the 'ethical' aspect mentioned in the prompt, such as algorithmic bias or job displacement, to provide a more sophisticated response. Finally, ensure your conclusion more clearly restates your position in relation to the two opposing views discussed.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs representing both sides, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes interrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that transitions between sentences are smoother. Avoid using repetitive phrases like 'improvement in technology' and instead use cohesive devices such as 'consequently,' 'furthermore,' or 'in contrast' to link your ideas more naturally.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the main ideas, but it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of imprecise word choices (e.g., 'damages their brain's cells' or 'hiddenly keep') and repetitive use of basic terms. To improve, aim to use more academic collocations and synonyms. For example, instead of 'improvement in technology,' you could use 'technological advancements' or 'the rapid evolution of digital tools.' Ensure that word forms (noun, verb, adjective) are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'people tends to'), article usage, and sentence structure (e.g., 'While there is a growing consensus... [incomplete sentence]'). There are also errors in punctuation and capitalization. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures before attempting complex ones. Practice using subordinate clauses correctly and ensure that every sentence has a clear subject and predicate. Pay close attention to singular and plural noun agreement.

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Task Response

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