Opinion

Band 5+: Some people think that watching sports on TV or Online is being popular than watching in the stadiums. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Over the recent decades, watching sports has become integral part of people’s lives. It has been suggested that instead of watching sports in the stadium, watching TV or online has its ranked popular among sports watchers. In this I will partially agree with the idea and then give some arguments to support my viewpoint.

From an overall perspectivce, there are a number of reasons why most of the people like to watch sports at home rather than in a stadium. The pimary reason is that it is more convinient for sports watchers which can save time money. Because watching sports in a stadium requires entry fees and it takes too much time to enter the stadium by staying in an overcrowded serial. Furthermore, there is also a chance to lost something or stolen important things like mobile phone or wallet by thefts in the stadium which may drive them into sitting at home for enjoying sports. Not only sedantary and busy lifestely turns people being famous to watch sports by sitting at home or office but also people find it particularly easier to watch players or understand all of the things properly including scores instead of being in stadium.

However, it must be said that there are also arguments to the contrary. Perhaps the strongest of these is that people can find entertaniment in a crowd of audiences and can support their favourite team visiually which can let them feel realistic. Another key arguments in support of these idea is that it is possible to watch full matches without obstacles in stadium compared to watching something on TV or online where some barier like internet and antena issues. Additionally, watching sports in stadium promotes cultural value and tradition. For example, a number of people wear traditional clothes for supporting their nation in sports competetions and singing song together with musical instrument which represents our tradition and culture.

In conclusion, it must be said watching sports at stadium or by techonolgical devices has become a complex issues with no easy solution. I would argue that although watching sports by TV or internet has some drawbacks, a combine startegy can be apply such as on weekdays people can enjoy sports at workplace by artifical things on weekands they can go to the stadium feel it more closely.

Word Count: 385

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sports: 13

stadium: 9

watching: 8

people: 6

watch: 4

which: 4

arguments: 3

support: 3

there: 3

things: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear position (partial agreement). The writer explores both the benefits of watching at home and the benefits of attending a stadium. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. While the main points are relevant, some arguments lack depth or precision. For example, the mention of 'cultural value and tradition' is a bit tangential to the core comparison of viewing methods, and the conclusion introduces a 'combined strategy' which, while interesting, slightly shifts the focus from the original question of popularity. To improve, focus on the following: 1. **Depth of Argumentation**: Instead of listing many different reasons (theft, cost, time, internet issues, culture), choose two or three strong points and develop them more thoroughly with specific explanations or examples. 2. **Clarity and Precision**: Ensure that the connection between your ideas is logical. Some sentences are slightly convoluted, which can obscure the intended meaning. 3. **Vocabulary and Grammar**: Work on reducing errors in word choice (e.g., 'ranked popular' instead of 'more popular', 'overcrowded serial' instead of 'queue') and grammatical accuracy (e.g., subject-verb agreement and article usage) to ensure the ideas are communicated smoothly.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. While you use cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'However', 'In conclusion'), they are occasionally used in ways that feel mechanical or do not perfectly link the ideas. To improve, focus on ensuring that each sentence flows logically into the next and that your transitions clearly signal the relationship between your arguments.

Lexical Resource

You attempt to use a variety of vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'integral part', 'sedentary', 'cultural value'). However, there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'perspectivce', 'pimary', 'convinient', 'serial' instead of 'queue', 'sedantary', 'entertaniment', 'barier', 'antena', 'competetions') and word choice errors (e.g., 'its ranked popular', 'turns people being famous to watch'). To improve, work on your spelling accuracy and focus on learning collocations - words that naturally go together - to make your expression sound more natural. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates an attempt to use complex sentence structures, such as 'Not only... but also...', but these often contain errors that impede meaning. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage (e.g., 'become integral part' should be 'become an integral part'), and sentence fragments (e.g., the sentence starting with 'Because...' is a dependent clause left standing alone). Additionally, there are errors in verb tense and form (e.g., 'chance to lost something', 'a combine startegy can be apply'). To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring that complex sentences are grammatically complete and accurate.

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