Opinion

Band 6+: Some people think the development of the technology make people's life more complex, so we should make the life simpler without using the technology

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Nowadays, some individuals argue that advancements in technology have complicated our lives, and as a result, people should adopt a simpler lifestyle without relying on technology, has sparked a lot of debate in recent years. While some people may have different opinions, I completely disagree with this statement. This essay will explain the reasons behind my viewpoint with relevant examples.

One of the main reasons why I disagree is that technology makes our lives easier, saves time and improves communication. This is because technology makes daily life more convenient. For example, people can shop online, use online banking and find locations using maps on their phones. As a result, technology improves people’s quality of life.

Another important reason is that technology makes communication easier.

This is because, in the past, people had to send letters and wait for a long time, but now they can communicate instantly using smartphones and the internet. This helps people stay in touch with family, friends and colleagues more easily. For example, people can use applications like WhatsApp or Telegram to send messages and make video calls. Therefore, it becomes evident that communication has become faster and more convenient.

In conclusion, although there are different views on this issue, I strongly disagree that technology has made education easier and more effective. The reasons discussed above clearly support my position, and I believe this trend will continue in the future.

Word Count: 234

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

technology: 7

people: 6

disagree: 3

reasons: 3

makes: 3

communication: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, ensure each point is thoroughly developed with specific examples and explanations, and maintain a consistent focus on the core argument throughout the essay. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear position and maintains it throughout. The arguments are logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a specific reason. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are generally smooth, contributing to the overall coherence. However, the introduction could be more engaging, and the conclusion feels somewhat repetitive. Consider varying your introductory and concluding statements to add more depth and sophistication. Also, ensure that each paragraph clearly links back to the main argument to reinforce your stance.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using appropriate words and phrases to convey your ideas. There is room to enhance the sophistication of your word choice. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'makes easier,' try incorporating synonyms like 'facilitates,' 'streamlines,' or 'simplifies.' Explore more nuanced vocabulary to express your ideas with greater precision and impact. Also, pay attention to collocations to ensure that your word combinations sound natural and idiomatic. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used effectively. While the essay is generally accurate, there are a few areas where attention to detail could improve the overall quality. Ensure subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proper article usage throughout the essay. Review your work carefully to identify and correct any minor errors. Varying sentence structure can also enhance the flow and readability of your essay.

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