Opinion

Band 4+: Task 2: Some people believe that extreme sports like skydiving and skiing are too dangerous and should therefore be prohibited. Do you agree or disagree with this belief? Explain your viewpoint with reasons and include appropriate examples based on your knowledge or experiences.

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It is argued that the games which have high risk of life and too much terrified are sky diving and skiing should be banned.I partially believe in this view fom my perspective it should not be banned infact it should have some saftey restrictions which is must be implement in this game and saftey of life should be more important thing then any thing beca

Firstly, the games which have high risk of life like such as sky diving and skiing are more dangerous games some people believe that it should be banned because mostly people doing this activity in excitement then they lost thir life if they do any mistake in this game and sometimes weathers become not good for them like strom and heavy rain can spoil their game and they lost their balanced and fall from sky dangeoursly and lost their life badly.For instance , in 2006 in france the winner competer of sky diving alexa rena lost their life when she performing the task from high distance .

In addition from my perspective it should not be banned completely but implements some safety rules because thats type of games are interesting and make people more brave in any field of life through these games people are more confident and enjoy thir life more intersingly .for example in 2010 a man who live in canada first take part in this game before performing he was so frightened from high distance after performing sky diving he become a champion in his life even he opened a company in 2015 in australia and make it as a profesion .

in conclusion ,the games are part of life it should not be banned infact some saftey rules should be implement because through games people become more brave and spend their life interestingly.And the sky diving and skinng games in itself dangerous but people take is As a challenging and enjoy their life happily .

Word Count: 324

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

games: 8

should: 8

people: 6

their: 6

diving: 5

banned: 4

which: 3

saftey: 3

because: 3

become: 3

performing: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by presenting a position that extreme sports should not be banned but have safety restrictions. However, the development of ideas is limited and not always clear. The examples provided are relevant but lack sufficient detail and clarity. There are issues with coherence, grammar, and vocabulary that affect the overall clarity of the argument. To improve, focus on structuring the essay with clear topic sentences, developing each point with more specific and well-explained examples, and proofreading for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Additionally, ensure that the position is consistently maintained throughout the essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow of ideas is often disrupted by unclear connections and abrupt transitions. The argument is not consistently developed, and the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes incorrect. To improve, focus on logically linking your ideas within and between paragraphs. Use clear topic sentences and ensure each paragraph has a single main idea that is fully explained before moving to the next. Practice using a variety of linking words and phrases appropriately.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with frequent errors in word choice and spelling (e.g., 'terrified' instead of 'terrifying', 'infact' instead of 'in fact', 'saftey' instead of 'safety', 'strom' instead of 'storm', 'dangeoursly' instead of 'dangerously', 'competer' instead of 'competitor', 'intersingly' instead of 'interestingly', 'profesion' instead of 'profession', 'skinng' instead of 'skiing'). There is some attempt to use less common words, but they are often used incorrectly. To improve, expand your vocabulary by reading widely and learning words in context. Pay attention to spelling and word forms. Use a dictionary to check the meaning and usage of new words. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors throughout, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'saftey restrictions which is must be implement'), incorrect verb tenses, missing articles, and sentence fragments. Punctuation is often missing or misused, making the text difficult to follow. There is very little variety in sentence structures, with most sentences being simple or incorrectly joined. To improve, review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structure. Practice writing complex sentences correctly. Proofread your work carefully to catch and correct errors.

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