Opinion

Band 4+: Task 2: Some people think that the government should provide free public libraries in every town, while others think that this is a waste of money because people can access information on the internet. Consider both viewpoints and provide your own opinion.

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In today’s world there is ongoing debate about whether the government should provide free public libraries in every town or whether individuals can use internet. Some people believe that the authorities should provide free libraries, while others think spending too much money on building libraries is waste of money. This essay will discuss both views before explaining why I believe that public libraries are essential.

On the one hand, supporters argue that allocating funds to libraries is waste of resources. This is because the internet is widely available in modern society. For example, people can download their favorite books from online platforms. As a result, they do not need modern libraries.

On the other hand, I believe providing libraries are beneficial, especially for low-income families. This is because they do not have access to the internet. For example, in countries such as Africa and India internet is an expensive luxury. As a result, free libraries help people gain knowledge for their future careers.

In conclusion, although both views have merit I believe increasing the number of libraries is important. This is because libraries can help reduce education inequality.

Word Count: 188

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

libraries: 9

internet: 4

believe: 4

people: 3

because: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you identify the main arguments for both sides, the supporting points are quite brief and lack depth. For instance, the argument regarding the internet being a 'waste of money' could be expanded by discussing the high costs of maintaining physical buildings versus digital infrastructure. Similarly, the argument for libraries could be strengthened by mentioning other benefits, such as providing a quiet study space or community hubs, rather than focusing solely on internet access. To improve, aim to extend your explanations and provide more nuanced examples to fully develop your arguments. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You have used cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' correctly to signal transitions. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat simplistic. To improve, try to expand on your arguments to create a more logical flow. For instance, in the first body paragraph, instead of just saying people can download books, you could explain how the convenience of digital access makes physical buildings seem redundant. This would create a more sophisticated link between your points.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task and is generally accurate, but it is somewhat repetitive and basic. You frequently use words like 'money', 'libraries', and 'people'. To reach a higher band, aim to use more varied and sophisticated synonyms. For example, instead of 'waste of money', you could use 'unnecessary expenditure' or 'misallocation of funds'. Instead of 'provide', you could use 'establish' or 'subsidize'. Additionally, ensure you use articles correctly (e.g., 'a waste of money' instead of 'waste of money').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that impact the overall quality. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'the internet', 'a waste of money') and subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'providing libraries are beneficial' should be 'providing libraries is beneficial'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are quite noticeable. Focus on mastering article usage and ensuring that your verbs agree with their subjects to improve accuracy.

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