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Band 5+: Today, in many countries, younger people do not interact with older people as often as they used to. What are the reasons for this? How can we improve this situation?

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In present days , there is a trend in many countries according to which younger people became less comunicative with elderly , rather that it was in the past . In this essay I will discuss problems such as migration and hectic lifestyle , which directly influence the decline of communication and provide solutions in terms of teaching digital skills among older people.

A key factor contributing to this problem is migration . Every year a number of people migrate according to the living conditions and job opportunities. Additionally , many people move from rural areas to cities in order to find higher income . Some young individuals migrate to escape political instability or environmental disasters . For instance , 30% of people in Russia move to Uzbekistan because of unstable political situation. As a result , migration causes an adverse effect which decreses a chance of communication .

A possible way to address this problem is to teach older generation to use technology tools for communication on a daily basis. This training courses , for example , provide assistance for olders in terms of using Skype , Whatsype and other useful tools. As a result, technology will provide a chance to maintain contact with family members at a distance .

In conclusion , it is clear that communication between younger and older generations has decreased in recent years due to busy lifestyle and relocation . However , this problem can be improved through education of using various digital tools.

Word Count: 250

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 4

communication: 4

which: 3

migration: 3

provide: 3

older: 3

problem: 3

tools: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt (reasons and solutions) and presents a clear position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While the causes (migration and lifestyle) and the solution (digital literacy) are relevant, they are not fully explored or connected deeply. For example, the paragraph on 'hectic lifestyle' mentioned in the introduction is not actually discussed in the body paragraphs, which creates a lack of coherence between the introduction and the main content. Additionally, the example provided regarding migration (Russia to Uzbekistan) feels somewhat arbitrary and is not clearly linked to how it specifically prevents intergenerational communication. To improve, ensure that every point mentioned in your introduction is thoroughly developed in the body, and try to extend your explanations by showing the logical link between the cause and the resulting lack of communication.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing the two parts of the prompt, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the connection between migration and the decline in communication could be more explicitly explained (e.g., explaining that physical distance is the barrier). Additionally, some cohesive devices are used somewhat mechanically. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next to create a more seamless argument.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the main ideas, but it is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are several spelling errors (e.g., 'comunicative', 'decreses', 'Whatsype') and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'In present days', 'rather that it was in the past', 'olders'). To reach a higher band, aim to use more precise and sophisticated vocabulary. Instead of 'older people', you could use 'the elderly', 'senior citizens', or 'the older generation'. Instead of 'problems', consider 'factors' or 'drivers'. Work on improving spelling accuracy and natural word combinations (collocations).

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'This training courses'), tense consistency (e.g., 'younger people became' instead of 'are becoming'), and article usage. Punctuation errors, such as placing spaces before commas, also detract from the professional quality of the writing. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and tense usage, and practice using complex structures more accurately.

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