Opinion

Band 4+: Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the country side. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is said that the companies’ factories and offices should be constrict more in not to be urban areas which can be solution to traffic jams and shortage of home.I believe that this can be effective way but should not be ignored its negative effects due to some reasons.

On the on hand,companies should consider about relocating manufacturing buildings to rural areas so that they could employee more people living in village. In other words, if companies run their business in rural areas,workers do not have to cities in order to work.As a result, cars may be less seen in roads which may contribute for reducing, traffic especially at peak hours.

However,I firmly believe that there are some challages to ensure this statement.Firs of all, moving factories and offecies can not completely tackle traffic and housing creating this situation in rural areas.That is, if business centers build in villages ,traffic may be vitnessed in such areas.This is because,it is exactly true that people no need to go cities for work but erun ban area people can there. In result of this, more houses may need to host people which leads lack of housing.In UK ,for instance,this experimented in 2005 and they can not any benefit for these problems.Therefore,companies can not achieve success in roads in order to decline traffic rate despite of constructing or moving factories or offices.

In conclusion,it is suggested thet companies should build business centers in rural areas to takle traffic and housing issues.Although being some notisable results,I totally disagree with this point.

Word Count: 256

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

traffic: 6

should: 4

rural: 4

people: 4

factories: 3

areas: 3

which: 3

business: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a clear position (disagreement). However, the development of ideas is limited and not always clear. The argument for relocation is briefly mentioned, but the counter-argument lacks sufficient support and clarity. There are issues with coherence, such as unclear examples (e.g., the UK example) and repetitive or confusing phrasing. To improve, focus on developing each main idea with specific, relevant examples and clearer logical progression. Also, ensure that the language is precise and that each paragraph has a clear central point.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between sentences. For example, the transition from the first body paragraph to the second is abrupt, and the argument in the second paragraph is difficult to follow due to run-on sentences and missing logical links. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and linking words (e.g., 'however,' 'furthermore,' 'as a result') to guide the reader. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and develops it coherently.

Lexical Resource

The essay attempts to use some relevant vocabulary (e.g., 'relocating,' 'tackle,' 'peak hours'), but there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'constrict more' instead of 'constructed more,' 'employee' instead of 'employ,' 'vitnessed' instead of 'witnessed'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and some phrases are unclear (e.g., 'erun ban area people can there'). To improve, expand your vocabulary by reading more academic texts and practice using words in context. Focus on accuracy and naturalness rather than trying to use complex words incorrectly. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'companies should consider about relocating'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'can not achieve success in roads'), and missing articles or prepositions (e.g., 'solution to traffic jams and shortage of home'). Sentence structures are often repetitive and lack variety. To improve, practice writing simple, correct sentences before attempting complex ones. Review basic grammar rules, such as verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the use of articles. Proofreading carefully can also help reduce errors.

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