Opinion

Band 4+: Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the country side. Do you agree or disagree?

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Big industries, companies, factories and the employees moving from main cities to countryside can be solution of problems such as housing and traffic. I totally agree with statement. This essay will discuss firstly harm of burned fuels from factories and big industries to the health of residents, secondly this change will affect positively on the architecture of the city, followed by reasoned conclusion.

Analayzing the statement in more detail, it is clear that gases from burned fuels in industries negatively affect on health of residents. It means that factories, big industries and companies usually burns coal or oil to have energy and it causes harmful gases which degrodates ecosystem of cities. This problem caused upward trend to buy filters and air freshers because citizens started because citizens have problems with health. Newborns started to have deficit of oxygen and diseases linked to breathing, this can be one of the main examples. Because of this movement of factories, big industries and companies to the countryside need to be popular trend.

Additionaly, design of infrastructures of factories and big industries tend to be dull and brutalistic, it may cause stress and negative impact for the citizens. Due to this huge buildings of industries should swap to entertainments, such as park,shopping centers and theaters , to make cities architecture look vibrant and interesting. As a result , people will have infrastructures to relax and to spend their free time.

In conclusion, moving of big industries and factories will influence positively to the architecture of cities and people will not have diseases.

Word Count: 258

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

industries: 8

factories: 6

cities: 4

companies: 3

health: 3

architecture: 3

because: 3

citizens: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt, but the development of ideas is inconsistent and occasionally misses the core of the question. While you express a clear agreement, the arguments provided do not directly address the specific problems mentioned in the prompt: traffic and housing. Instead, you focus on air pollution and urban architecture. To improve, you must ensure that every supporting paragraph directly links back to how moving industries will alleviate traffic congestion or reduce housing shortages. For example, you could discuss how moving companies reduces the number of commuters (traffic) or how repurposing industrial land provides space for new homes (housing). Additionally, ensure that your ideas are fully extended; for instance, explaining *how* moving industries to the countryside specifically solves the housing crisis in cities.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes difficult to follow due to awkward phrasing. The introduction promises to discuss traffic and housing, but the body paragraphs focus primarily on health and architecture. To improve, ensure that your body paragraphs directly address all parts of the prompt (specifically traffic and housing) and use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'Consequently', 'In contrast') to link your ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive. There is frequent repetition of the phrase 'big industries, companies and factories.' Additionally, there are several spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'degrodates' (degrades), 'air freshers' (air purifiers), and 'brutalistic' (brutalist). To reach a higher band, try to use synonyms to avoid repetition and focus on learning collocations (words that naturally go together) to make your expression more natural.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'companies usually burns'), article usage, and sentence structure (e.g., 'This problem caused upward trend to buy filters'). Many sentences are fragmented or run-on. I recommend practicing complex sentence structures and focusing on the accuracy of basic tenses and singular/plural noun forms to ensure clarity.

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Band 4+: Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the country side. Do you agree or disagree?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the country side. Do you agree or disagree?

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the country side. Do you agree or disagree?

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the country side. Do you agree or disagree?

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the country side. Do you agree or disagree?

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Mobile phones should be completely banned in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many people do not get enough exercise. What are the reasons for this problem? What solutions can be taken?

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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