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Band 5+: Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There are some individuals who accomplish their dreams due to luck. It is true that hardwork is crucial in order to achieve our goals. However, I mostly agree with the idea that luck plays significant role in accomplishing our aims for some individuals.

Proponents claim that there are other sectors which are more important than luck. One of the primary reason is that hardwork that gratuates us to achieve our goals. On the other hand, luck solely comes specific people which means everyone cannot have luck while leaning or doing some business. For instance, Ronaldo always says that I achieved my goals because of dedication. Furthermore, only lazy people assume that fortune is crucial and they just wait something will happen in the future, changing their lives from poor to richest. Therefore, people who are lazy believe luck is success.

However, there are some people who accomplish their goals thanks to fortune as luck plays crucial role. For example, existing in a right place associates with luck. To explain, some people were born in a rich family which did not depend on their choices such as Bile Gay who was born in the richest family in his country which enabled him to study. In addition, some people were born with natural talents which give them numerous opportunities. To illustrate, Leo Messi not only worked hard but also he was born with natural talents. Consequently, luck is sometimes garuantes success for some people.

In conclusion, although hardwork is important in order to achieve our goals luck is enough to accomplish our aims for some people

Word Count: 264

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 7

goals: 5

which: 5

their: 4

there: 3

accomplish: 3

hardwork: 3

crucial: 3

achieve: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear position: that while hard work is important, luck plays a significant role. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. The first body paragraph is slightly confusing because it attempts to argue both sides (hard work vs. luck) without a clear logical transition, and the point about 'lazy people' is somewhat tangential to the core argument. The second body paragraph is stronger, providing relevant examples of birth circumstances and natural talent to support the role of luck. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a single, clear focus. In the first body paragraph, instead of discussing what 'lazy people' think, focus more deeply on how hard work functions as a counter-argument to luck. Additionally, work on grammatical precision and word choice (e.g., 'gratuates' is used incorrectly; 'guarantees' is misspelled) to ensure that the supporting ideas are communicated with greater clarity and sophistication.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes abrupt. The transition between the idea of hard work and the idea of luck in the second paragraph is somewhat disjointed. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic sentence and that cohesive devices (like 'However', 'In addition', 'Consequently') are used to create a logical flow between sentences rather than just listing points. Some sentences feel disconnected from the overall argument of the paragraph.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is functional but limited and repetitive (e.g., frequent use of 'achieve our goals', 'accomplish our aims', 'luck'). There are also several instances of incorrect word choices or awkward phrasing, such as 'gratuates us to achieve' and 'luck solely comes specific people'. To reach a higher band, aim to use a wider range of synonyms and more sophisticated collocations. For example, instead of 'luck plays crucial role', you could use 'serendipity plays a pivotal role' or 'circumstantial advantages'. Ensure that word forms (noun, verb, adjective) are used correctly. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'One of the primary reason'), missing articles (e.g., 'plays significant role'), and awkward sentence constructions (e.g., 'luck solely comes specific people'). There are also spelling errors like 'garuantes'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, the correct use of articles, and pluralization. Practicing complex sentence structures (subordinate clauses, conditional sentences) will help, but accuracy in simple sentences must be established first.

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Band 5+: Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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