Opinion

Band 7+: You should spend about 40 minutes on this question. Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer, and provide ideas and examples from your own experience. You should write at least 250 words.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

It is believed that governments should allocate funds for railroads instead of roads. I personally agree with this statement for some reasons, which I will explain in this essay.

Perhaps one primary reason for this is environmental degradation. This is because the use of private vehicles like cars and motorcycles can bring environmental problems where one of them is air pollution. However, this could be overcome through the expansion of railroad construction. If there were many railroads in every region, citizens would use the train to commute rather than using private vehicles. As a result, air pollution caused by vehicles, especially in urban areas, will be reduced. Furthermore, it seems that the fund of railroad construction may be cheaper than that of road construction where the government can invest the money efficiently in another sector’s needs like education.

I do appreciate the opposing view, which is that allocating funds for roads is important for social mobility because many people, especially living in rural areas, find it easier to reach public services such as medical centres and education institutions. However, I believe that railroad development is more useful for the long term. Therefore, railroad development is required to reduce the negative effects of road use, such as congestion and the damage caused by heavy cargo vehicles passing the roads.

In summary, it appears that allocating money for railroads should be undertaken by governments instead of focusing on road development. This is because the good effects of railroad development may be gained, such as sustainability transportation systems and efficient fund management.

Word Count: 259

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

railroad: 5

vehicles: 4

development: 4

railroads: 3

because: 3

construction: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position agreeing with the statement. The main ideas are relevant and supported with some development, but there are a few lapses in focus and precision. For example, the point about railroad construction being cheaper than road construction is not fully explained or supported. Additionally, the essay could benefit from more specific examples and a more thorough exploration of the opposing view. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea with detailed support, and consider providing concrete examples from your own experience or general knowledge to strengthen your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The main ideas are presented coherently, and the argument is easy to follow. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical (e.g., 'Perhaps one primary reason', 'Furthermore', 'I do appreciate the opposing view'), and some transitions could be smoother. The paragraphing is adequate, but the second body paragraph could be more clearly linked to the overall argument. To improve, aim for more varied and subtle linking phrases, and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic that is fully developed.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic (e.g., 'allocate funds', 'environmental degradation', 'railroad construction', 'social mobility', 'sustainability transportation systems'). There is some attempt at sophistication, but a few phrases are awkward or slightly inaccurate (e.g., 'sustainability transportation systems' should be 'sustainable transportation systems', 'the fund of railroad construction' could be 'the funding for railroad construction'). To achieve a higher score, use more precise and natural collocations, and avoid repetition of words like 'railroad' and 'roads' by using synonyms or paraphrasing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, with generally good control. There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that slightly affect clarity (e.g., 'for some reasons' should be 'for several reasons', 'where one of them is' could be 'one of which is', 'the fund of railroad construction may be cheaper' could be 'funding railroad construction may be cheaper'). Punctuation is mostly accurate. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, article usage, and refining sentence structures for greater precision and naturalness.

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