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Positive And Negative

Band 4+: Young people are now spending more and more time and money following fashion trends. Is this a positive or negative development?

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Nowadays, it is modernisation in old generation youngster follow film industry fashion trend. Teenagers are in this time spending much money and time to follow fashion trend. In my opinion it is a negative development for youngster I will discuss negative argument in forthcoming to paragraphs.

To begin with, there are plethora of drawbacks in spending much money and time of fashion trend. First of all individual waste their time and money in fashion trend. In fashion Trend they do not get benefits by spending time in morning. They always compare themselves with other people in fashion Trend. People loss there self confidence after following other people fashion trend to be more clear people all time compare themselves with others people they douting their self sometime they uncomfortable in fashion but they follow that fashion trend looking more modern and that time close their they confidence.

Moreover in recent time youngster follow celebrated fashion trend in order to modernising themselves in society. They more time spend in searching new fashion trend and after they spend money to buy fashion clothes, footwear, accessories and many more as a result they do not given enough time to their study and the facing low grades in their study. In addition teenager do not satisfied on self they always searching fashion trend and comparison themselves with others people and celebrities.

To sum up in this trend have several drawbacks however teenager wasting time and money in fashion trend and after regretting showing the negative impact.

Word Count: 251

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Overall Band Score

4.5
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
fashion: 14
trend: 13
people: 6
money: 5
their: 5
follow: 4
themselves: 4
youngster: 3
spending: 3
negative: 3
after: 3
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

5
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the negative aspects of young people spending time and money following fashion trends. However, the arguments presented are not fully developed and lack depth. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the consequences of following fashion trends in more detail.

Coherence & Cohesion

4
The essay has some coherence and cohesion issues. There are problems with sentence structure and linking ideas together. Work on improving the flow of ideas by using transition words and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.

Lexical Resource

4
There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but some words are used incorrectly or inappropriately. Work on expanding your vocabulary and using words accurately. Additionally, aim for more sophisticated and precise language to enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, including issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Review grammar rules and practice constructing grammatically correct sentences. Pay attention to punctuation as well to improve the overall accuracy of your writing.

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