Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 4+: Young people are often influenced in their behaviour and situations by others of the same age. This is called "peer pressure". Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages ?

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The teenagers are affected by their same age people to follow their behaviour and attitudes.This known as peer group pressure. In my personal perspective is that , the advantages are more significant from disadvantages.

In the youngh stage peoples are like to move with their same age person. Because in this period same age peoples are belongs same mantality and well known each other. Similarly in this time children explore new things and innovate different type of skill. While same age people are close to each other than they can share their knowledge with individuals. Moreover public can maintain their life consistancy to follow their peers. Children try to learn everything which they visual in front of tham.

On the other hand, some childrent several times are involved different types of unethical activitys and doing bad work by ancourage this bad peers. Although in this time they can not realise about their mistakes and disobey their gurdian. On the one hand for this situation parents are also have responsible for their lack monitoring. Sometimes friends are force to doing unethical work for their interest about the work. If individuals have enough education from their family they can overcome this situation and do not involved in bed work.

In conclution, people need to moving with their same age people to maintain their life consistancy. People can learn different type of skill from their friends. Sometime people are influence by their peers and maintaining their behaviour and attitude in their daily activity.

Word Count: 250

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 17

people: 6

other: 3

different: 3

peers: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure, and it presents a clear position that advantages outweigh disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is limited and lacks clarity in places. The main points are relevant but not sufficiently extended or supported with specific examples or detailed reasoning. There are also issues with coherence and cohesion, as the organization is somewhat unclear and transitions are abrupt. To improve, focus on developing each idea more fully, providing concrete examples, and ensuring a logical flow between paragraphs. Additionally, work on grammatical accuracy and vocabulary range to enhance clarity and precision.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow of ideas is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections. The introduction states the writer's opinion, but the development of arguments is not always logical or easy to follow. For example, the first body paragraph mixes several ideas (maturity, sharing knowledge, consistency) without clear linking. The second body paragraph introduces the idea of parental responsibility, which is not fully developed. The conclusion is brief and somewhat repetitive. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph, ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea, and use cohesive devices (e.g., 'however', 'therefore', 'for instance') to connect sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some attempts at more formal language (e.g., 'perspective', 'significant', 'consistency'), but there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'youngh stage', 'same mantality', 'ancourage', 'gurdian', 'bed work'). The phrasing is often unnatural and repetitive (e.g., 'same age people' is used many times). To improve, expand your vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'influence', 'conformity', 'social development', 'positive/negative effects'), and practice using words in correct contexts. Also, avoid informal or incorrect expressions and aim for more precise and varied language. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity, including subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The teenagers are affected' should be 'Teenagers are affected'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'are like to move' should be 'like to move'), missing articles (e.g., 'in the youngh stage' should be 'in the young stage'), and punctuation issues (e.g., missing commas, run-on sentences). There are also errors in word formation (e.g., 'activitys' should be 'activities', 'conclution' should be 'conclusion'). The range of sentence structures is limited, with many simple and repetitive patterns. To improve, review basic grammar rules, practice writing more complex sentences (e.g., using subordinate clauses), and proofread your work to correct errors in spelling, punctuation, and word forms.

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Band 4+: Young people are often influenced in their behaviour and situations by others of the same age. This is called "peer pressure". Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages ?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Young people are often influenced in their behaviour and situations by others of the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages ?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviour and situations by others of the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages ?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviour and situations by others of the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages ?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviour and situations by others of the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages ?

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