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Band 5+: The charts below show the proportion the global TV market in terms of sales revenue in 2010 and 2020

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The image features pie charts for global TV market share by sales revenue percentages in 2010 and 2020 with six companies: In 2010, LG 20%, Samsung 10%, Sony 15%, TCL 15%, Hisense 30%, Vizio 10%; and in 2020, LG 10%, Samsung 20%, Sony 5%, TCL 10%, Hisense 35%, Vizio 15%.

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The Pie charts show the proportions of the global Television market in terms of sales revenue in 2010 and 2020 considering companies like LG, Samsung, Sony, TCL etc.

Overall, TCL company leads in terms of global TV market sales revenue. They are well above every competitor in 2010 and 2020 respectively. Companies like Hisense and Vizio shows steady growth over a decade whereas LG and Samsung slaes dropped. Sony shares the same proportion of sales percentage over these 10 years.

In 2010, TCL sales accounted for 30% of the global TV sales market. LG shared 20% of the overall market value being the second leaders. Both companies shared 50% of the overall market sales. On the other side, companies like Hisense and Samsung shared 15% of the total sales. Both, Sony and Vizio totalled 20% shares with 10% each.

By 2020, significant changes drafted in global market. TCL remained as top sellers with increment of 5% in their revenue totalling 35% of the whole market sales. A significant drop off for LG by 50%. Both, Hisense and Vizio sales increased by 5% where Samsung’s revenue dropped by 5%. Sony remained at 10%.

Word Count: 192

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 9

market: 7

global: 4

revenue: 4

companies: 4

samsung: 3

hisense: 3

vizio: 3

shared: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing a general overview and highlighting key trends and changes in the global TV market between 2010 and 2020. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions that could be improved. For example, TCL was not the leader in 2010, Hisense was. Also, Sony's sales proportion halved, not remained at 10%. To improve, ensure all data is accurate and completely represented.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the flow of information could be improved. The introduction is present, and an attempt is made to provide an overview. However, the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are not always smooth, making it slightly difficult to follow the comparisons and trends. For instance, the shift from discussing TCL and LG to Hisense and Samsung in the third paragraph feels abrupt. To improve coherence, use clearer transition words and phrases to link ideas and ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data. Also, avoid abrupt changes in the subject matter between sentences.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as 'sales revenue,' 'market share,' and 'proportion.' However, there are instances where the word choice could be more precise or varied. For example, using 'leads' and 'top sellers' is repetitive. To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate synonyms and more specific terms to describe the changes and proportions. Also, ensure that the vocabulary used is accurate and fits the context appropriately. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors include subject-verb agreement issues ('TCL company leads'), incorrect verb tenses ('TCL sales accounted'), and awkward phrasing ('significant changes drafted'). Punctuation is generally correct, but there are instances where it could be improved for clarity. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on proofreading carefully for common errors, varying sentence structures, and ensuring correct verb tense usage. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use a wider range of grammatical structures to express ideas more effectively.

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