Opinion

Band 4+: onlinw shopping is replacing is traditional shopping in many countries

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In the contemporary era, the issue of internet shopping has become sparked intense debate due to its far reaching implications as well as diverse effects. The online shopping is gradually rise day by day . People can easily compare the prices online. In this essay I will discuss the pros and cons The internet shopping is taking place physical shopping in many countries.

To commence with, people can easily check the online shopping and prices mention down the clothes. online shopping is very profit full, because the online deliveries is very fast that why mostly people prefer the online shopping. People do not waste time on online shopping as compared to the traditional shopping. For instances,That my friend is Ali and he works as a online business where the human beings reach the product easily to their homes.His business is rising gradually day by day. The main items include the clothes and gents products are available with the reasonable prices.

The main disadvantage of the online shopping sometime the online deliveries are late due to the fact that individual facing the difficulties.Many people do not prefer online shopping sometime deliveries turn out a scams. Mostly people prefer traditional shopping because there is a beneficial for other. For example, My neighbourhood ordered the smart watch and send money quickly, but they did not deliver the order and it did not refunded my money.

For recapitulate the debate, Online shopping is increasing day by day because internet shopping is beneficial and convenient for all human beings.Some time do not reach the deliveries for the people and individual gradually face worried.

Word Count: 268

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

shopping: 14

online: 12

people: 7

deliveries: 4

internet: 3

gradually: 3

easily: 3

because: 3

prefer: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping. A position is present, though it is somewhat inconsistent as the conclusion focuses more on the risks rather than a balanced summary. However, the development of ideas is limited. The examples provided (the friend Ali and the neighbor's smartwatch) are quite personal and anecdotal; in academic writing, it is better to use more generalized or formal examples to support your points. To improve, focus on expanding your arguments with more depth rather than relying on personal stories. Additionally, ensure that your ideas are logically organized and that you use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is often interrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes repetitive (e.g., 'day by day'). To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (such as 'Furthermore', 'However', or 'Consequently') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic sentence that guides the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite basic and often repetitive. There are several instances of incorrect word choices and word forms (e.g., 'profit full' instead of 'profitable', 'mention down' instead of 'listed', and 'recapitulate the debate' used incorrectly). To improve, try to learn collocations (words that naturally go together) and use more precise academic vocabulary. Avoid using personal anecdotes like 'my friend is Ali' in academic writing; instead, use general examples to support your points. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally make it difficult to understand the intended meaning. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'deliveries is'), article usage (e.g., 'the online shopping'), and sentence structure (e.g., 'The main disadvantage of the online shopping sometime the online deliveries are late'). To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, verb tenses, and singular/plural agreement. Practicing complex sentence construction will also help increase your score.

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Band 4+

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Band 4+: onlinw shopping is replacing is traditional shopping in many countries

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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