Letter

Band 7+: You see this advertisement in a local English-language newspaper. We need someone to help in our busy sports shop this summer. Our customers come from all over the world, so speaking English is essential. We are looking for people who know about sport, so they can give useful advice to customers. Apply in writing to the manager, Mrs Gina Jones, saying why you would be the right person for the job. Write your letter.

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Dear Mrs Gina Jones,

I am writing to apply for the position of sales assistant which was advertised in a local English-language newspaper. I assume I am a suitable candidate for this position as I have already worked in a sports shop before. I am patient with the customers, I try my best to help them choose the right article and in addition, I have great communication skills.

Furthermore, I am willing to improve my knowledge in sports in order to be more reliable for the customers. I am very interested in their field as I am regularly watching soccer on TV and I also enjoy playing it on the equipment and sports related articles. I have plenty of information due to my research.

I would be grateful for the opportunity to discuss my application further in an interview. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours sincerely,

Alina

Word Count: 149

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sports: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all parts of the task. You have clearly stated the purpose of your writing, explained why you are a suitable candidate (previous experience and communication skills), and demonstrated your interest in sports. The tone is appropriately formal for a job application. To improve and reach a higher score, you could expand more specifically on your English language proficiency, as the advertisement explicitly mentions that speaking English is essential. Providing a concrete example of how you have used English in a professional or social setting would strengthen the response. The letter falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is organized logically, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. You have used cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore' and 'In addition' to link ideas. However, some sentences feel slightly disjointed, particularly where you list your qualities. To improve, try to use more varied transitional phrases and ensure that each paragraph flows more naturally into the next by developing the relationship between your skills and the job requirements more deeply.

Lexical Resource

You have used an appropriate range of vocabulary related to the task, such as 'suitable candidate,' 'position,' and 'time and consideration.' However, some word choices are slightly unnatural. For example, 'choose the right article' is better expressed as 'choose the right product' or 'item,' and 'reliable for the customers' would be more naturally phrased as 'providing reliable advice to customers.' Aim for more precise collocations to achieve a more sophisticated tone.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical inaccuracies that affect the flow. For instance, 'I am regularly watching soccer' should be in the present simple ('I regularly watch') to describe a habit. There is also a comma splice in the first paragraph ('I am patient with the customers, I try my best...'), which should be corrected by using a conjunction or starting a new sentence. Focus on mastering tense consistency and sentence boundaries to improve accuracy.

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Can you help me? I did badly in my exams last year and I would like to be better prepared this time. Do you have any suggestions on how I can avoid the same thing from happening again? Write back soon, Hannah Write your letter.

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