Part 1
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Samples
Words: 0
BAND 6.5, CAN THIS ESSAY BE 7.0?
Individuals argue that competition in all spheres of life such as at work, in education and their normal life has a beneficial effect, while others hold the thought that cooperation might have better effects than competing against each other. Alhough, competition teaches people to hold a stronger competitive position, I strongly believe that working more cooperatively is more beneficial.
On the one hand, competition in terms of education and work, encourage employees and students to perform better because they don’t want to be seen worse than others. At schools, pupils rewarded for their effort and teachers appreciate those who study well. However, several studies have shown that many students nowadays feel demotivated or suffer from burnout because they constantly compare themselves with high achievers. Therefore, promoting cooperation instead of rivalry can help individuals build a sense of support and emotional stability.
On the other hand, creating cooperative environment in workplaces and schools is tought to be more beneficial in the long term. Such atmosphere provides good realtionships among people which plays a crucial role in people’s success. Furthermore, collaborating with people with the same vibe allocates one hard task into smaller parts for each person. By this, they develop a deep sense of trust in teamwork. For example, a similar initiative in Japan resulted in a 52% increase in the efficiency of workers because they felt support from their partners.
In summary, despite the increased motivation for better performance driven by competition, I believe that working together is far better, since it not only leads to success but also supports everyone’s emotional well-being.
May you clarify the score for each marking criteria? It is easier to suggest something when you give more details on scoring
Band 8.0
Some would argue that competition in all spheres of life has a beneficial effect, while others think that cooperation might have better effects than competing against each other. While competing gives stimulus for growth in the short term, I strongly believe that by cooperating altogether people may achieve more in the long term.
On the one hand, rivalries at work and in schools push employees and students to perform better because they don’t want to be worse than others. They study more and try to find an alternative solution just to be better than others. For example, according to statistics given by the Workforce Institute of Kazakhstan, the outgoing results of companies increased almost by twice after a month after a tournament system was introduced among colleagues. However, I believe that competitiveness in workplaces and schools gives benefits only in the short term because, eventually, workers and children lose motivation as they become outperformed by others.
On the other hand, creating a cooperative environment in workplaces and schools is thought to be more beneficial in the long term. Friendly relations between people make them more compassionate, giving advice to each other to reach the same goal, such as a work plan or class project. For example, after incorporating partnership in the classrooms, teachers examined that smart students started to help others, which affected the performance not only of the particular students, but of the class as a whole. I believe that this method is preferable because collaboration pushes everyone to be better, and the most important thing is that there are always people who are ready to help them.
In conclusion, although fostering a competitive environment at work and in schools gives an immediate effect on the results, it is better to prioritise collaboration and cooperation.
BAND 7.5
Some individuals believe that competing with each other at work, in education, and in their normal life is the most effective approach. Others argue that cooperating is far better than competing with each other. Both of these views have advantages and disadvantages in people’s lives. On the one hand, competition among students motivates them to study harder and achieve their academic goals. In schools, pupils are rewarded according to their efforts, and teachers appreciate those who study well. This brings benefits to learners who are not good at studying. They get motivated by their teachers’ behavior, and they also start preparing for papers. While at work and in daily life, it may have some negative impacts on civilians’ character. For instance, it can bring jealousy, hate, and even fights. For example, in the USA, companies give special bonuses to employees who work harder. Resultantly, those who did not work harder gets lower salaries, and they get fraustrated. On the other hand, helping each other can bring sympathy, kindness, and humbleness to society, and it can play a significant role in companies’ and countries’ success. For instance, most of China’s construction and educational institutes promote group gatherings because they think it can help learners to solve problems and in the invention of new ideas. However, it may have some harmful effects on job holders, such as too much cooperation and helping each other, which can cause laziness. In conclusion, both competition and cooperation are okay to some extent, as I discussed earlier, because they can bring motivation and kindness. That influences others to do it as well. But doing both of these without crossing the limit may lead to harsh effects on the environment.
Some citizens hold the thought that contesting either at the workplace, at learning institutions, or in day-to-day life is satisfactory, whereas others are of the opinion that we have to make an effort to put in more cooperation, rather than rivaling against each other. From my perspective, I strongly affirm that there should be a healthy competition between scholars or employees, as well as incorporating togetherness to achieve some tasks or goals. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss the main reasons for both views.
On one hand, a balanced contest between people at work, pupils or in life in general, is evident to be paramount, only if the competition does not go to an extreme extent that can lead to negative impacts like jealousy, lust, or even fights and corruption. A clear illustration is in educational backgrounds, where students are encouraged by their tutors as well as parents, to race against each other in their classwork and even during their examinations. This has proven to bring a clear positive impact; for instance, a teacher can be able to tell in a class sitting which of their students are competent enough to solve problems and who needs help to achieve good academic performance.
Conversely, putting hands together in unity is equally paramount. Current living has encouraged oneness not only in the workforce, but also in daily activities. For instance, many companies nowadays have been able to soar up to greater heights, hence not only achieving annual goals but also leading to enormous success in the place of business competitions. This has been brought about by the togetherness that has come with employees sitting together to solve tasks, sharing ideas, and striving towards a given goal evenly.
In conclusion, incorporating good contention results in great achievement in academics for school-going students; however, collaboration of people has proven to aid companies in achieving gigantic success in the business realm. I believe both aspects should be included as part and parcel of daily living as both have benefits when incorporated correctly.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is competition in many aspects of life, such as work, school, and daily life. While proponents champion that the inherent benefits of competition are undeniable in terms of innovation and increased productivity, others think that cooperation has many advantages, such as promoting a collectivist society and maintaining social cohesion. Personally, I tend to think that both aspects are equally important and complement each other.
One of the most compelling advantages in favor of competition lies in its power to encourage communities to improve their skills, knowledge, and living standards in an attempt to outperform their competitors. Companies competing against each other bring about increased investments in R&D, new production strategies, and sustainable solutions to work-related difficulties. These efforts towards gaining a competitive edge lead to enhanced creativity, innovation, and expertise. Moreover, not only does scholastic competition play a crucial role in creating a more interactive educational environment, but it also enhances students’ knowledge as they try to exhibit superior performance among classmates. UNESCO’s latest report suggests that the majority of students demonstrate higher performance in a bell curve grading system, which requires comparison between students’ grades. This clearly illustrates how the achievement race between students boosts deeper understanding and knowledge.
On the other hand, cooperation has significant advantages for the economy. Firstly, collaboration of companies facilitates economic growth, as shared knowledge, technology, services, and expertise produce better outcomes than working individually. For instance, the Nike company made a collaboration with popular football teams in 2024. With this, while the company’s revenue rose, football teams gained more support and quality sport equipment in the World Cup. Furthermore, studying together could improve students’ teamwork, problem-solving, and communication skills due to students solving problems collaboratively, discussing, and explaining concepts to each other. Also, societies cooperating for environmental and societal problems promote mutual respect and understanding among participants and a collectivist community, with joint efforts leading to creative solutions.
In conclusion, although the benefits of cooperation are compelling, such as social cohesion, economic development, and collective actions, the advantages of competition are substantial, in terms of innovations, advancements, and enhanced knowledge. I firmly believe that each has distinct advantages, and both are necessary for development. Therefore, instead of prioritizing one over the other, a balanced approach that incorporates both aspects is most beneficial.
band 9
Some individuals think that competing with someone in places like work or school has considerable benefits in individuals’ lives. While they support this opinion, other individuals think that competing is unnecessary, and that people should get along with others. This issue sometimes causes challenges. On the other hand, it can be useful to solve problems. I firmly believe that competition and cooperation should coexist in individuals’ daily life.
On the one hand, competition has significant impacts on people’s lives for achieving their aims. Competing with someone allows people to be strong and decisive, because these types of conflicts always remind people of their aims. Moreover, if they want to be successful, they should see and realize who their rivals are. Competition not only reminds people of their goals but also enhances their personalities. For instance, at school, students are always in huge competition for getting great scores on exams. When a student sees a grade higher than his or her own, this student will tend to study more. This situation reveals which students are successful.
On the other hand, cooperation facilitates people’s lives at work and school. When they decide to cooperate with other people, they become open to learning something new. It is evident that cooperating is the most important thing in people’s business and academic life. This situation allows them to share their ideas and expose themselves to different perspectives from others. Furthermore, getting along with others contributes to people’s well-being. For example, some employees choose to talk and share things with others. As a result of a research study, these people are more creative than others because of their knowledge. They have already learned beneficial information from other employees due to their approaches to them.
In conclusion, both competition and cooperation have benefits for individuals’ lives and well-being. Cooperation allows people to expose themselves to different lines of vision. Competition allows them to be decisive. I firmly contend that they should be balanced with each other.
Band7
While some would argue that we should try to collaborate more, rather than compete against each other, I believe that a highly competitive environment at work, in the learning environment, and in day-to-day activities is a good thing because it selects the best individuals, and they will be fairly rewarded for their hard work to some extent, in comparison to just being part of a team.
On the one hand, collaborating with people with the same vibe allocates one hard task into smaller parts for each person, which really helps in reaching the aims. By collaborating with other people, they feel stability or calm to some extent, which is caused by a sense of trust in teamwork and some guarantee of success. For example, a similar initiative in Japan resulted in a 52% increase in the efficiency of workers because they felt support from their comrades. However, I believe that this does not solve the actual issue because there are people in teams who have a job in the hardest part of the aim, yet they are rewarded the same as other people who spent significantly less energy.
On the other hand, selecting the best individuals by competing is the best way to identify excess people in the team. When the competition is going on, the public tries their best, and only the best come forward in the competition. For instance, in China, the contest is at a high level, which influenced individuals with talent. Today, we see that, of the one hundred richest people, twenty are Chinese, which shows that rivalry resulted in finding the best talents to earn money.
In conclusion, although cooperating with people in one team provides some justice, competing in every part of life is a more preferable option.
Band 7.5:
Some people contemplate that competition in the workplace, at school, and in daily life is a positive thing. Meanwhile, others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than compete against each other. I believe that both criteria are significant; therefore, we need to balance both scenarios. From my perspective, I generally agree with this assertion, as teamwork is vital in general, and I will mention why in the following paragraph.
First, cooperating in a team is essential for every individual, as sharing skills, experience, and ideas is crucial for countries to become developed. For instance, China has 1.8 trillion in population; therefore, the government has operated many huge projects and employs millions of people to work in those areas to enhance output and finish in a shorter period. As you can see, due to the huge number of individuals cooperating in the project, they meet the target within a shorter period.
In contrast, competing against each other is recommended in numerous factors. Hence, the organisation, institute, or company will potentially measure and prize the best overall individual in that particular place. Furthermore, when they are doing so, they encourage colleagues to work harder and to be more productive throughout their work or study journeys.
Last but not least, competing against each other may lead to positive outcomes, such as individuals tending to work hard and become more intelligent in their tasks. Nevertheless, working as a team and collaborating with each other is needed in general; hence, the organisation becomes more developed and successful locally and therefore globally.
Some people think that competition at work, at school, and in daily life is a good thing. On the other hand, it is believed that cooperation is more important rather than competing against each other. Although the second opinion is beneficial in some cases, I believe that competition plays a vital role in our lives and is considered a good thing.
Some people suggest that cooperation is considered a good thing because if people are struggling in their lives, they will need support to come out of difficult times; at that time, if there is a race between people, it will cause that person to face more difficulties. Moreover, the group who supports each other, can achieve more success.
I believe that having competition is important in our lives. It is because people will be less dependent on each other, and they will put their own efforts and give their best by making things easier and simpler for themselves. In addition, sometimes it happens that the people who are supporting each other may separate instead of supporting each other at every step of life, so this is the only time for that person to stand tall and face problems; the person who is less dependent on others will handle those difficult conditions, and the person who waits for cooperation may lose the fight and give up in those problems.
To conclude, people think that competition should be given more importance and considered a better thing. On the other hand, people believe support and cooperation are the best things without competing with each other. I believe competition at every step of life is more important because people will be less dependent on each other and will face their problems independently.
Overall Band Score
8.0
(+/- 0.5)
Export Result to Word
Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 – Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.
Grammar Mistakes: 4
Vocabulary Repetition:
competition: 7
believe: 4
people: 3
other: 3
competitions: 3
their: 3
individuals: 3
Try using synonyms for the above words
Task Response
8.0
The essay appropriately addresses the prompt, discussing both views on competition and cooperation and presenting a clear position. Ideas are relevant and supported with examples. There could be slightly more development of some ideas to achieve a higher score.
Coherence & Cohesion
8.0
The essay presents a clear position and maintains it throughout. The arguments are logically organized and supported with relevant examples. Transitions between paragraphs are smooth, contributing to the overall coherence. The essay could benefit from slightly more sophisticated linking words to further enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource
7.0
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, used accurately and appropriately. There is evidence of less common vocabulary, such as ‘burnout’ and ‘rivalry’. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more nuanced vocabulary related to the specific aspects of competition and cooperation discussed.
Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
9.0
The essay exhibits a wide range of grammatical structures with full flexibility and control. The sentences are well-constructed, and punctuation is used accurately throughout. The grammar is consistently accurate, contributing to the clarity and effectiveness of the communication.
Part 1 Answer
Some people argue that we should collaborate instead of competing against each other, while others believe that competitions at schools, workplaces and even in daily life is beneficial. In my opinion, although cooperation promotes harmony, I believe that competition plays a vital role in improving people’s mindset and developing consistency in pursuing their goals.
On the one hand, critics argue that people should cooperate with one another and promote unity rather than competing against each other to avoid unnecessary pressure. The main reason is that excessive competition often makes individuals feel inferior if they fail to meet their goals. This can lead to stress, depression, anxiety or low self-esteem. For example, several studies have shown that many students nowadays feel demotivated or suffer from burnout because they constantly compare themselves with high achievers. Therefore, promoting cooperation instead of rivalry can help individuals build mutual support and emotional stability.
On the other hand, supporters of the view believe that competition brings out the best in people by motivating them to work harder. In workplaces, for instance, competition allows employers to identify skilled and dedicated employees who truly deserve promotions or rewards. Similarly, in educational institutions, healthy competition encourages students to stay persistent and determined in order to succeed. For example, In Pakistan, winners of the national competitions often receive scholarships to study abroad, which further inspires others to perform better.
Hence, competition can serve as a driving force for personal growth and long-term achievement.
In conclusion, while competitions may sometimes create stress or unhealthy comparisons, it can also push individuals to realize their full potential. Thus, I firmly believe that healthy competition is essential for both personal and professional growth.
Word Count: 279