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Band 5+: 1. Percentage of People Playing Video Games by Age Groups (1984-2002

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Image for topic: 1. Percentage of People Playing Video Games by Age Groups (1984-2002

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The image displays age groups playing video games from 1985 to 2002.5 with Under 18 starting at 10% in 1985, reaching near 50% by 2002.5; 18-25 starting at 7% in 1985, nearing 35% by 2002.5; 26-35 beginning at 5% in 1985, approaching 22% by 2002.5; Over 35 starting at 4% in 1985, reaching 12% by 2002.5.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given figure provides information about quantity of individuals playing games by age groups from 1984 to 2002.

Overall, we can notice that gaming is more popular among teenagers, while people aged over 35 are much less interested in it.

Individuals between the ages of 26 and 35 showed a significant rise, starting at about 5 percents in 1984 and reached a peak at 25 units at the end of the period. It can be seen that video games did not have fascination among people who older than 35 in 1984, indicators demonstrated 0%. It increased steady to 10 percents in 2007 and did not become the favourite type of entartainment for that humans.

Teenagers under 18 and citizens between the ages of 18 and 25 illustrated the similar trend. These rates improved dramatically by 30 units over the period. Scores of people under 18 starting at roughly 20 percents and peaked at 50 in 2007. Whereas people between the ages of 18 and 25 showed changes from 10 units to 40 through the period.

Word Count: 175

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 4

between: 3

percents: 3

units: 3

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the general trend and some specific data points for each age group. However, there are several inaccuracies and inconsistencies in the data (e.g., mentioning 1984 instead of 1985, 2007 instead of 2002, and incorrect percentages/units). The report also includes some irrelevant or inappropriate information (e.g., 'did not become the favourite type of entertainment'). To improve, ensure that all data references are accurate and consistent with the visual information, avoid introducing unrelated years or values, and maintain a clear focus on the given time frame and percentages.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction and an overview, but the body paragraphs lack logical progression and clear referencing. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'Individuals between the ages of 26 and 35 showed a significant rise... It can be seen that...'). The paragraphing could be improved by grouping similar age groups together more effectively. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly', 'while') and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited and repetitive. There are some errors in word choice and phrasing (e.g., 'quantity of individuals', 'indicators demonstrated', 'favourite type of entartainment for that humans'). The report would benefit from using more precise and varied vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'rose steadily', 'experienced a sharp increase', 'remained relatively low'). Avoid informal or vague terms like 'units' and 'scores' when referring to percentages.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and awkward structures that affect clarity. Examples include 'starting at about 5 percents' (should be 'percent'), 'reached a peak at 25 units' (unclear), 'people who older than 35' (should be 'who were older'), and 'increased steady' (should be 'steadily'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. To improve, practice using a wider range of sentence structures (e.g., complex sentences with relative clauses) and proofread carefully for common errors.

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