Bar Chart

Band 5+: 5 to 14 years old boy and girl participants selected leisure activities in australia

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The image presents a bar chart illustrating participation rates of boys and girls aged 5-14 in various leisure activities in Australia, showing percentages across these categories: Skateboarding/rollerblading with boys at 40% and girls slightly above 20%; Bike riding engages approximately 70% of boys and slightly above 60% of girls; Watching TV/videos peaks at nearly 100% for both genders; Electronic/computer games have about 80% participation among boys and slightly above 60% for girls; Art and craft activities show boys participating at almost 40% and girls at about 60%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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the graphs above demonstrate the australian children in spending their leisure activities. the age range from 5 to 14 years old including boys and girls. the data shows that there are 2 main activities indoor and outdoor. the pink line shows for the girls and the green one for the boys.

watching tv/videos be the most chosen activity that both boys and girls choose to do in their leisure times the percentage raech to 100%. Most of the girls chose bike riding, electronic/computer games, and art and craft for each activities reach 60% for the girls. the boys tend to like electronic/computer games after watching tv/videos. the most unwanted activity is skate boarding both for girls and boys didn;t reach the higher percentage, tha values are 40% for boys and 25% for girls.

From the graphs, we can conclude that boys and girls choose to watch tv/video on their leisure time.

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 7

their: 3

leisure: 3

activities: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the bar chart, but there are some areas for improvement. The organization is somewhat basic, and the language contains errors that affect clarity. To improve, focus on providing more specific data comparisons and use more precise language to describe the trends. Also, ensure that the introduction and conclusion are more focused and informative, and proofread carefully to correct grammatical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and paragraphing. The ideas are not presented in a logical order, making it difficult to follow the main points. Improve coherence by using transition words and phrases to connect ideas and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-defined topic. For example, you could dedicate separate paragraphs to indoor vs. outdoor activities, or to comparing boys' and girls' preferences. Also, avoid abrupt shifts in topic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of synonyms or more precise language to describe the data. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to leisure activities and data comparison. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'choose,' consider alternatives like 'prefer,' 'engage in,' or 'participate in.' Also, avoid informal language. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and punctuation mistakes. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. To improve, focus on using a wider range of grammatical structures and ensuring accuracy in basic grammar. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors. For example, pay attention to correct article usage (a/an/the) and verb conjugations.

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