Bar Chart

Band 6+: activities that Australian teenagers ehnoy doing the mos in 2010

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The image displays a bar graph with information about the activities Australian teenagers enjoyed most in 2010, showing percentages for boys and girls respectively. For Art and Craft, the figures are approximately 7% for boys and 25% for girls. For Books, boys are at 10% and girls at approximately 18%. For Computer Games, both boys and girls are at 15%. For DVDs, boys are at 15% and girls at approximately 18%. For Going to the Park, boys are at 25% and girls at approximately 12%. For Sports, boys are at approximately 28% and girls at approximately 12%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of teenage boys and girls who adored different pastimes in Australia in 2010.

Overall, while boys generally enjoyed outdoor activities, such as Sports and going for a walk, girls tended to join indoor ones – Books, Art and Craft. However, playing computer games and watching DVD were equally among both sexes.

In terms of Art and Craft, the figures for boys and girls were dramatically different, 7,5% and 25% respectively. Similar trend was seen regarding to the Books, the percentage of males was 10% compared to 17,5% of females. At the same time, outdoor activities experienced an opposite trend. Especially Sports were adored by 27,5% of boys and 12,5% of girls. There was rather a similar tendency related to going to the park, as the proportion of boys who enjoyed it made up 25%, while the figure for girls was just 12,5%.

In contrast, there were two activities which were equally common for both genders. Firstly, the percentage of teenagers playing video games was 15% for both. Secondly, the figures of boys and girls interested in DVD, was 15% and 17,5% respectively.

Word Count: 188

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 6

percentage: 3

activities: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the information presented in the bar graph, highlighting key trends and differences between the activities enjoyed by Australian teenage boys and girls in 2010. The overall trends are well-identified, and specific data points are used to support the observations. To further enhance the response, consider ensuring that all data points mentioned are completely accurate and that the comparison of data is more explicitly linked back to the overall trends identified in the overview.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are mostly smooth, contributing to the overall coherence. However, some transitions could be improved to enhance the flow of information. For example, using more varied cohesive devices could make the connections between ideas even stronger.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, appropriate for the task. There is effective use of synonyms and varied language to describe the data. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more precise vocabulary related to data comparison and trends. For instance, instead of 'Similar trend was seen regarding to the Books,' you could use a more sophisticated phrase like 'A parallel trend was observed with respect to book preferences.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. Most sentences are grammatically correct, but there are some errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct use of prepositions, and accurate punctuation. Reviewing and editing the report carefully can help eliminate these errors and improve the overall grammatical accuracy.

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