Letter

Band 5+: All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor. Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter · give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience · explain what help you hope your mentor can give · suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

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Dear Mentor Gene,

I am your new colleague and write to you to inquire information and seek your advice. I appreciate your time and thank you for reading the letter.

Graduated from university of Windsor, a quite good university, I worked for Uniuni, which was a delivery company. In Uniuni, I developed a system whereby workers can manage the delivery process more effectively since developing systems was my major during my study. In addition, by communicating with others, I also developed the ability of relationship management, and hopefully it will be useful to you. Any guidance would be very helpful, and I will appreicate it very much.

I am wondering if the next Friday will be convient to you, for I hope I can have a meeting with you. Please let me know if the appointment is not suitable for you.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Best regard,

Tom

Word Count: 152

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter addresses the three required points: it provides a brief outline of studies and work experience, explains the help sought, and suggests a meeting arrangement. However, there are some lapses in clarity and appropriateness. The phrase 'hopefully it will be useful to you' is irrelevant and slightly inappropriate in this context. The meeting suggestion is vague ('next Friday') and lacks a specific time or place. Additionally, there are minor language errors (e.g., 'inquire information', 'convient', 'appreicate', 'Best regard') that affect the overall clarity. To improve, ensure all details are relevant, provide a more specific meeting proposal, and proofread for grammatical accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally easy to follow, but there are some issues with cohesion and paragraphing. The first paragraph introduces the purpose, but the second paragraph mixes work experience and personal skills without clear transitions. The third paragraph is very short and could be better integrated. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and link ideas with cohesive devices (e.g., 'In addition', 'Furthermore', 'Regarding the meeting'). Also, ensure each paragraph has a single clear focus.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are some inaccuracies and informal choices. For example, 'inquire information' should be 'ask for information' or 'request information', and 'convient' is a spelling error for 'convenient'. The phrase 'a quite good university' is informal and could be replaced with 'a reputable university'. To improve, use more precise and formal vocabulary, and avoid informal expressions. Also, vary word choice to avoid repetition (e.g., 'help' and 'guidance' are used repeatedly).

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'Graduated from university of Windsor' should be 'Having graduated from the University of Windsor', and 'I will appreicate it' is a spelling error for 'appreciate'. Also, 'if the next Friday will be convient to you' should be 'if next Friday is convenient for you'. The sentence 'In Uniuni, I developed a system whereby workers can manage the delivery process more effectively since developing systems was my major during my study' is awkward and could be rephrased. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of tenses, and sentence structure. Proofread for spelling and punctuation errors.

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Task Response

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Other Topics:

You and a close friend had planned a weekend getaway, but now you have to cancel. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: - apologize and explain why you have to cancel - suggest an alternative plan - express how disappointed you are.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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