Letter

Band 6+: Band 9 Example Request Letter Scenario: ✉ You want to join a professional training course and need information about it. Write a letter to the course administrator. In your letter: • Explain your interest in the course. • Ask about course details, such as duration, schedule, and fees. • Request information about enrollment procedures

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Dear sir or ma’am,

I am writing this letter to know about the post BSc nursing which your college started recently. I want to know more about this course.

First of all, I am in General Nursing and Midwife Nurse. I completed my course last year August. I wish to do post BSC nursing at your college. I would like to know about the course period as well as the food and accommodation. Currently I resides far from your college. It will be difficult for me to come everyday by bus. In addition I want to know about the theory and practical hours.

I would like to know about the fee structure per year. Is it necessary to pay the whole fees at a time? Moreover, could you please tell me regarding the food and accommodation fees?

I would be grateful if you could provide information about any prerequisites or scholarship opportunities. I kindly request a comprehensive course brochure and procedures.

I appreciate your time and assistant and look forward to your response.

Your sincerely,

Tina Thomas

Word Count: 177

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

about: 6

nursing: 3

college: 3

course: 3

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements, covering interest in the course, asking about details (duration, schedule, fees), and requesting enrollment procedures. However, there are some omissions and lapses: the schedule is not explicitly asked about, and the request for enrollment procedures is vague. Additionally, some information is irrelevant (e.g., food and accommodation, theory/practical hours) and there are minor grammatical errors. To improve, ensure all bullet points are clearly addressed, and refine the language for clarity and formality.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally organized into paragraphs, but the flow is somewhat disjointed. The opening could be more direct, and the questions are scattered. To improve, group related questions together and use cohesive devices to link ideas. For example, combine all course details (duration, schedule, fees) in one paragraph and enrollment procedures in another. Also, ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited. There are some awkward phrases such as 'post BSc nursing' (should be 'post-BSc nursing') and 'food and accommodation' is repeated. To improve, use a wider range of vocabulary and more precise terms. For instance, say 'course duration', 'class schedule', 'tuition fees', 'accommodation options', and 'enrollment process'. Also, avoid informal expressions like 'I am writing this letter to know about' - use 'I am writing to inquire about'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, 'I resides' should be 'I reside', 'Your sincerely' should be 'Yours sincerely', and 'assistant' should be 'assistance'. Also, some sentences are run-ons or lack proper punctuation. To improve, review subject-verb agreement, use correct verb tenses, and ensure proper sentence structure. Additionally, use a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical range.

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